


Passive Restraint

by Spoozypuff



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Lesbian Sex, One Night Stands, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:20:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 37,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25691938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoozypuff/pseuds/Spoozypuff
Summary: The so-called simplicity of a one-night stand complicates the lifestyles of two women trying to succeed. This is a tumultuous joy ride of both Kim Yongsun and Moon Byulyi as unexpected medical colleagues who already know each other a little too well. Expect things to get bitter quickly.
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 26
Kudos: 93





	1. Sights and Silence

2.5 million people in the city of Daegu. 2.5 million lost souls with, at minimum, 2.5 million problems, issues, and not enough ways to address them. Parents are giving wholehearted, age-old advice; the same polished speech their parents once gave them when they were struggling through their own coming of age. Stay straight on the path called life. Study. Do well in school. Pass the college entrance exams. Again, do well in school. Marry, produce offspring, and distribute the same fail-proof advice to them. It’s a cookie cutter approach: settle yet excel. How boring. How oxymoronic. How safe. And though these 2.5 million people grumble to themselves that this is not how they pictured their lives to be, most definitely settle and most definitely do not excel. Despite cursing into the starlit sky, “I’m not like the others...I’m special,” they all fall into the same trap of monotony. 

Kim Yongsun revels in that monotony. So much so that even her closest friend often cannot chisel away at the stubbornness of the woman barely into her mid-30s. Ten ignored texts later, a rampant conversation ensued once an eye rolling Yongsun decided to answer her ringing phone. “Why?!”

“We need a night out. My only night out I’ll probably be able to get in a while, unnie!” A calm conversation was thrown haphazardly away as Ahn Hyejin pleaded her case in the most respectful way her personality could allow. She piled on the guilt trip as she continued. “Are you telling me you’re going to let me celebrate ending my second year all alone? On the streets? Completely wasted?”

The defeated sigh on the other line came after only seconds of contemplation. “Fine. But for a few hours. I don’t need to find myself on YouTube when you lose control.” The older woman disguised her wry smile with an air of annoyance. This told a different story of how she truly felt about Hyejin. Would she ever admit to that affection? Hell no. That girl already took advantage too much as it is. 

“I knew I bothered you all these years for a reason!” 

“I’m a push over.”

“One-hundred percent,” she swept her fingers through her long, butterscotch waves as she spoke, “but I wouldn’t have made it through my sub-I* year without you pointing me to the supply closet every morning."

“And gave you the code to the door...every morning,” Yongsun was quick to add. She always remembered the details. Always.

“Ugh! I had a lot on my plate in medical school—”

“The code was 1234, Hyejin-ah!” Annoyed, yet she still called her affectionately. Ten-thousand percent a push over.

“Whatever! You were the best then. I don’t know what’s happened to you.” The now third year resident knew she’d hit a dead end eventually. 

“Stop it, kid.” Her whining voice had disappeared, all playfulness fading away into the receiver. “I think I’m going to reconsider tonight.” Yongsun was known for her patience but also known for her sensitivity to hits to her character. Hyejin steered the conversation away before she really lost her friend to a 2100 bedtime. 

She played it up real quick. “Unnie...unnie, please. In all honesty I may have pre-gamed a little too hard. I don’t know what I’m saying right now. And—and! This night is for you too. Starting a new job in Seoul deserves something crazy and fun. I’m so proud of you...” Her normally harsh tone had lulled to a soft whisper all the while lying through her teeth about being tipsy to save face. 

Another sigh. Defeated again. The white flag was waving.

“Fine. I’ll be ready in an hour. Take a car here. I’m not picking your drunk ass up.” Two beeps. The call had ended just like that. Hyejin almost squealed, tossing her phone to the side without care as it bounced off her pillow and onto the floor. She scurried to the bathroom to prepare herself. 

_An hour to get ready? Ha. See you in about two, Yongsun-unnie._   
  


x-x-x

Momentary silence between two friends in the back of a cab. Nothing says more of a relationship when lack of interaction corresponds to unadulterated peace and trust. Their lanky fingers lightly intertwined in platonic intimacy across the empty seat between them. Yongsun knew it was the calm before the storm. Of course it began with the youngest inelegantly shoving the other down into the backseat, murmuring ‘come on, you old lady.’ But here and now is what mattered. Street light after street light painted shadows along the leather upholstery. For a brief moment, as if to make sure her friend hadn’t jumped ship, Yongsun turned her head to catch sight of a rarity. In all her glory, there was a quiet Hyejin. Her crisp, golden locks were all to one side, cascading brilliantly over her bare shoulder. Her stern yet exotic face for which many have approached Yongsun for and inquired, “you know that girl? Is she a bitch? I hear she’s a bitch.” Aren’t we all is how she’d ideally respond but she would never have the guile to do so. Instead she shrugs, internalizing all the compliments she could ever come up with for the woman known as Ahn Hyejin. She’s brutal when necessary and honest as everyone should be. Angry and loud at inconvenient times, yes, but always kind and always thoughtful even during the toughest situations. Hyejinie, as a tipsy or drowsy Yongsun often refers to her, was the counterpart to the eldest; the absolute opposite. They clash but it was very soft on the eyes. 

As if she could feel the weight of her lovestruck gaze, the golden woman suddenly turned to meet her face to face. Her expression was almost offended, exuding an aura of ‘is there something fucked up with my face?’ And when Yongsun still hadn’t backed down her look turned quizzical then completely softened to a smirk a.k.a Hyejin’s official smile. Right then and there the oldest was surprised there was even a body that could hold a soul like hers. 

“You could make a girl blush, y’know?” That was all that was said before the silence again overtook them save for the ambient buzz of the cab in motion. Ironically, Yongsun was the one with a red-tinged face. She hated being sentimental let alone being caught in the act by the ever frank third year obstetric and gynecology resident. Who knew, she rolled her eyes as she reminisced, that they would remain close friends, best friends, throughout this whole time. 

The unexpected journey began one humid day at Sungmo Women’s Hospital a few years prior. Day shift was usually as follows: get report from the night team, check on your patients, check orders from the physicians, semi-question these orders as half of them are incomprehensible, follow those orders with a shrug. Somewhere amongst this morning routine residents and medical students alike were bustling around to rush to finish their own to-do list. It all resulted in the chaos one could normally expect working in this field. The foggy weather mirrored her current state of mind as she tried to recall the details of the morning hours of that July day. 

Light footsteps rapidly approached her in the hallway followed by a ragged voice sounding out a question in haste. “Miss! Excuse me, miss. Where is the supply closet? I’m trying to find some gauze to change a dressing.” 

Their first meeting, of course, started with a classic eye roll as Yongsun angled her head from her computer to address the young woman in a short white coat. Another medical student. Another menace to ask 10,000,000 questions without so much as a thank you. Only to advance their own education and status through a degree all to treat nurses like herself like disposable pawns in the near future. “Over there.” She both lazily responded and pointed in the remote direction of the closet. Yongsun saw a small bow from her periphery and the small human dashed away. “Now leave me alon—,” she muttered to herself but was quickly interrupted by the sudden return of the same student.

“The code!”

This time the obstetric nurse turned completely around to face her. “Excuse me?” Again, the student bowed and Yongsun saw the short black hair whip down and back up. It was more of a carefully practiced choreography than an actual bow. She almost laughed but she felt too annoyed to give her the satisfaction of anything amicable. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself. I’m kinda in a rush so I don’t get my head chopped off by my senior. I’m Ahn Hyejin. Sub-I. I would really appreciate your help.” The genuinity was clear and all annoyance had simply been dusted off the nurse’s shoulders. 

“1234. Write that down so you don’t forget,” she attempted at a joke to ease the young woman’s troubles, “and don’t worry. I understand. I’m Kim Yongsun. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to approach me.” Almost gagging at the last statement, she slightly bowed at her neck and swiveled back to continue aimlessly clicking on the computer screen. And off the medical student went to finish her menial task just to satisfy a senior resident probably never to converse with her again. 

Little did she know she’d be the biggest pain and pride of her life. For Yongsun that year had passed like any before but to Hyejin it was filled with suffering to achieve her life’s aspirations. She kissed ass after ass—with a bit of teeth here and there. She was degraded in front of groups of people while presenting patients during rounds. She was told she wasn’t good enough and that this lifestyle was too harsh for a pretty woman like herself. She was put down, chastised, harassed but never built up and supported until Yongsun found her in the nurses’ break room with her head down on the table. From then on the two always had a way to contact each other: Kaokao Talk, SMS, e-mail, hell even hand-written letters via physical address if they wanted. ‘Just unload it,’ Yongsun would text her in regards to her emotions. But those days were all dust in the wind. Now the long-haired physician had a long white coat to match, and she was three years into her residency. Happier? Eh, Yongsun still saw the stresses and struggles exponentially worsening as Hyejin became more senior. She had more experience and, with that, came more responsibilities. And that’s why, when party nights like these came to fruition, it was hard for a relatively conservative Yongsun to say no to someone as hardworking as her. Despite being a practical slave to the medical system during her difficult residency, Hyejin always thought of her best friend first when a miniscule amount of freetime became available to her. She had always been sweet like a sour cherry in that way.

All at once she was shaken awake from her dream-like state. Night became day as the cab rolled deeper into Daegu nightlife. Splashes of neon adorned the faces of many a night goer. They passed an all too familiar Dunkin’ Donuts just before the vehicle halted a half a meter from the curb. “Enjoy, ladies. Be safe.” The cabbie’s eyes were only seen in the rear-view mirror. 

“Ah, you stay safe too, mister.” Hyejin’s dark rouge, tight lipped smile graced the man more intensely than intended that Yongsun swore she saw the mirror fog up. The woman dripped sin from her pores even in the most innocent of acts. “Come on, unnie. Quit stalling.” The elder of the two patted down her black skirt before saying a good-bye of her own and gracefully stepping out onto the city street to follow an eager Hyejin. She was alone only briefly on the sidewalk but had already locked eyes with a lustful fellow, to whom she was probably ten years his senior, and then was undoubtedly groped by a small pair of hands of another passer-by. She swung her arm at random to swat the pest away but was instead met by her Hyejin coming to her side and grabbing at her wrists. “What in the fuck? Are you seizing already? It's only been like fifteen seconds.” 

Fifteen seconds and she was already ogled and fondled. Oh, were things going to happen tonight. 2.5 million people in the city of Daegu, a place she’d soon be parting ways with. 2.5 million lost souls yet they all seemed to have found their way here just to annoy the shit out of her. She gently pulled herself away from the familiar touch and forcibly smiled with a shake of her head. “I’m fine.” She lied and all for the love of her bitch of a friend. 

That same bitch led the way and she unbashedly followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sub-I: Sub-internship during the fourth year of medical school.


	2. Binge and Purge

Black, leather pumps with 4-inch heels. A black, mid-thigh pleated skirt to match and the classic white, semi-cropped halter top purchased in her glory days as Hyejin puts it and thereafter has teased her endlessly for. It was only five years old, give or take two, but as clear as day she can imagine her friend's voice in exasperation, ‘That’s like a half a decade…’ Was she behind the times in fashion? Hardly so. She’s familiar with Vogue and Elle and was a close follower of the fashion blog created under the genius of Kimente Kimhekim. Of course she knew style. She knew the dos and the don'ts yet she half-heartedly followed the rules because, really, who cared? Well, Hyejin did. She had the latest and the most expensive. She dripped ice from her wrists to her ears to her décolletage. Even on a measly resident salary her soulmate was skipping down the sidewalk in 6-inch red bottoms. 

_ Red bottoms?!  _

“Hyejinie!” 

“Wha—,” she had half twirled around. 

She was fuming. She wasn’t this woman’s mother but regardless she was pissed. “Are you nuts? What did I say about getting those—those shoes!” 

“Aren’t they lovely?” 

Of course they were lovely but that's besides the point. “Expensive! And a waste of what little money you have!” 

“Come on. I need to treat myself from time to time,” she lightly groaned while adjusting her silver satin tube top. Adjusting was an understatement. She hiked her breasts up higher than necessary getting the attention of Yongsun and passers-by alike. No modesty, the eldest thought. She both cursed and thanked the heavens for agreeing to come along tonight. This girl needed the shortest of leashes or she’d lose her medical license for the ethical implications of indecent exposure. 

“You can do that without spending millions of won.” 

“I beg to differ. I mean look at you.” 

“Excuse me?!” Her explosion was short-lived when the bouncer outside the club interrupted them with a clearing of his throat. The petite women craned their heads, both smiling in an embarrassed manner. 

“Are you ladies entering or are you finishing this outside?” His tone was dry. Hyejin, to Yongsun’s surprise, mumbled something resembling somewhat of an apology. The man’s blank facial expression, however, never faltered. His eyes were void of any amusement as he’s witnessed too much bullshit while working this job. “Entering or not?” He repeated impatiently with bulky arms crossed over his bulging chest, gaze flickering up over the top of their heads. Yongsun peeked over her shoulder at the line of people building behind them. 

“Yes, please.” She had mustered up the courage to actually answer. “Sorry.” Only a masculine grunt came in response. He stepped aside to let them pass without ever actually taking the time to check their identification probably to avoid spending another second dealing with their stupid asses. Once out of sight Yongsun started to throw her hands at Hyejin. “You moron!”

The youngest was deeply afflicted. “Me?! You’re the one dressed like a church girl at 11 o’clock at night!” With that came another hit to her bare shoulder. 

“You fucking brat,” she scoffed. Irritated, she pinched the bridge of her nose but for another reason entirely. The scent of tobacco flooded her and the nurse was sure she’d be a victim to the onslaught of secondhand smoking for the rest of the night. Imagine what her unwashed hair would smell like the next morning. Attractive. “But seriously that guy was completely lacking a personality. A bit of a jerk.”

“I don’t know. He has a tough job.” In a way Hyejin had sympathized with the bouncer. She just imagined dealing with a dramatic, alcohol-fueled, rowdy crowd all night long. “Especially _these_ people at _this_ place. Maybe he isn’t used to it. Or he’s too used to it.”

Yongsun’s one eyebrow quirked. “What do you mean _this_ place…?” The confusion fell into worry when Hyejin simply ignored the question. Her mind ran a marathon just to recall where in the hell _this_ place even was. Maybe she had texted her the name, right? Finding her phone in her clutch she scrolled to no avail but the screen had illuminated the look of concern on her face. Her friend just laughed. Why the fuck did she still trust Hyejin to take her out? 

The bass had drowned out whatever Yongsun had left to say and their senses were hit all at once. It was overwhelming for the one, and an absolute relief for the other. “Let’s get to it, unnie!” She was begrudgingly dragged along to the bar where a mass of people were already gathered. People were bad enough sober and now she had to voluntarily approach a bunch of drunks. _Fun._

“Another! Another!” A man prominently centered in the middle of the bar monopolized the attention of the scantily clad bartender. The scantily clad _male_ bartender. The small quartet around him shouted in jovial agreement and within a minute they were presented with an encore of shots. Yongsun rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time. She felt somewhat banished as she stood off to the side, uncomfortably within the personal bubble of a female club-goer waiting to order in front of her. And now she swore she felt someone’s dragon breath falling onto her neck from behind. Why do people subject themselves to this kind of torture? Even if she did like drinking she could easily buy liquor for one-fifth the price at the convenience store not a minute away from her apartment. God, everyone was a sucker yet here she was being exactly just that. Peering over to the opposite side of the bar she saw Hyejin striking up a conversation with a woman and man as she too waited to get her buzz on. The genius physician thought it was a good idea to split up for a chance to purchase alcohol. If this continued neither of them would— Hyejin lifted her arm up, glass in hand, and cheersed Yongsun from across the room. Their cheeky smiles mirrored each other instantaneously. Sherading her excitement, the eldest gave a thumbs up then proceeded to point to herself. She had remembered to get her something too, right? Right? 

Hyejin’s face fell. Wrong. Just like that she was abandoned by an idiot who apparently possessed a medical degree. The headache came on strong and her eyes shut in pure frustration. Fine, whatever. She could take care of herself. Her “pride” had her on the tips of her toes as she squeezed between two people to wave her hand towards the bartender wandering up and down along the inside of the bar. “Excuse me! Sir!” The man strut right on by without even a second glance. She watched as he settled himself back in front of the crowd from before that had demanded another round of shots. His smile towards the five men was an attempt to be enticing. Yongsun saw it all. “Wow, anything to make a cheap buck! Yah! We’ve been waiting for a half an hour.” The man beside her sniggered. 

“He’s probably not your type, sweety.” 

Like she asked for this guy’s opinion. “What’s that have to do with anything? I’m trying to give him my money to get drunk and then probably give him even more money because I’m drunk!” The normally reserved woman was resolute in her anger. The only times she was this talkative were in times of passion, excitement, and annoyance. She was definitely in all three states at the moment. 

“It has everything to do with it.”

She screamed almost unnecessarily over the background music. “Just because I’m not a slut, doesn’t mean I don’t deserve a drink!”

This time he laughed aloud. “I agree, I agree. I just think you’re missing my point.” Without anything further to add, the man picked up his highball glass filled with a single ice cube floating in an amber liquid and moved away to the dancefloor. 

“What I’m missing is a drink—,” she called in his direction with a sudden jerk of her head but instead she was met with a young woman’s face. “Oh, I am so sorry!” 

“Huh? Don’t be sorry. We’re all missing drinks back here with how slow this slug is going.” Her lithe body slid between Yongsun and another female, effectively cutting the line all while getting a whiff of her perfume. And Yongsun came to think of it. Sweet perfume overpowered any other scent in this establishment, even the musky smoke. Usually clubs reeked of cheap cologne as men tried to hide their appalling body odor. A little out of the ordinary, but the nurse had nothing to say. She just watched as this stranger leaned over the bar and snapped her fingers. When that didn’t quite work she took an empty cocktail glass and made it into a percussion instrument. It impressively got the attention of two-thirds the bar and, fortunately, the bartender too. “Finally,” she rushed out her demands before it was too late, “I’ll have two vodkas with soda and—,” she briefly gave her attention to Yongsun. “Lime?” The nurse could only nod. “And limes. Thanks.” Moon Byulyi ran her fingers through her dark brown hair just reaching her shoulders and exhaustively sighed. “It’s like a street market here. Everyone for themselves.”

“Yeah. Really. Thank you. I could not get that guy’s attention for a second.” 

“Uh huh.” Awkward silence spanned between the two strangers. Byulyi simply stared at an uninteresting spot on the wall behind Yongsun’s head until two filled glasses were put before them. One picked up the drink while the other unceremoniously tossed some change onto the wood top. “So, yeah.” Byul had no idea how to do this. How does one even construct a conversation while Ode to Oi plays distastefully in the background? “I hope you like it.” She internally groaned then bit the inside of her cheek. As if she’d be offended if she didn’t. As if she slaved over a stove for four hours concocting the drink in her hand. 

“Mm, it’s good. Thanks again.” Yongsun had relaxed knowing she had another female to keep her company while Hyejin did whatever the fuck it was she did. At least someone else was looking out for her unlike her _best friend_.

Almost sensing the nurse’s thoughts, Byulyi meekly asked, “Are you alone?”

“Oh! No. Well, I’m not supposed to be.” She felt embarrassed as she tried catching sight of Hyejin from across the bar. The bitch was gone. “I came here with someone but she’s probably off getting smashed while I suffer by myself.” 

“Ah. I hate when that happens.”

“Yeah...you were abandoned too? Some friends we have.”

“Not exactly. I came alone.” Purposefully came alone, she wanted to add. It took her months, more accurately years, to muster up even a gram of courage to show her face in this club or any club like _this_ for that matter. She could barely withstand knowing that she was interested in these sort of activities let alone withstand her friends or family knowing. It was tough to even step foot inside and here she was. She should be proud of herself. Shouldn’t she? It definitely did not feel that way. 

Yongsun was surprised. Alone? Wow. She felt a pang of jealousy for such confidence. Maybe she could learn a thing or two from this woman who had so suddenly approached her. “Oh. You must come here a lot to feel that comfortable to come by yourself.” This time she leaned closer so she wasn’t straining her voice to overcome the noise around her. “I don’t think I’ve ever been here before. I...don’t even know the name of this place if I’m being honest.” She hadn’t noticed that Byulyi had slunk back to create some distance between them. 

“First time actually. And, really?” She sipped at her drink to ignore the quickening of her pulse. Nothing was even happening and here she was about to have a nervous fit. “Did you come in blindfolded or something?” She internally grimaced. Wrong choice of words. Or maybe she was thinking too much into it. This woman in her white crop top did not seem perturbed with their conversation whatsoever. 

She laughed freely. “No! I didn’t even think about asking Hyejin where we were going. I just let her take me.” 

“Dive.” 

“Hm? SCUBA?” 

Byulyi shut her brown eyes and her lips formed a tight line; her breath came in slowly to meditate herself. This woman must be a child. She reopened them and lightly teased her with an eye roll. “No, no. That’s the name of this place. Dive.” Those same eyes fell to the bare skin just beneath the bottom edge of Yongsun’s top. _Nope! Definitely not a child!_ Her posture straightened as she decided to scrutinize the inside of her glass instead.

Yongsun was oblivious to the other’s behavior. She was too busy visualizing all the clubs Hyejin had dragged her to over the last few years. “Dive? Huh. Never heard of this place and I’ve been to quite a few clubs.”

“Like this one?”

“What?”

“You know…,” her voice faded as she awaited Yongsun to finally put two and two together. That, however, never happened. The puzzle remained unsolved and Byulyi almost choked on her own saliva as she realized that this woman was clueless to where she actually was. 

“No, I don’t. Everyone keeps saying stuff like this! It’s seriously weird!” Now she was beginning to whine, stomping her black heels to match. 

Hell to the no was Byulyi going to be the one to break the news to her. She just shook her head. “Listen. Don’t make a scene.” An ironic statement to be spoken in a club where everyone and their mother was most definitely making scenes of their own. It was far from a good idea for Byul to try her luck with someone completely unaware of her surroundings. She could barely handle being here herself. She needed to make an exit and quickly. “I’m—I’m going to step outside for a bit. I’ll see you later.” The tilt of Yongsun’s head almost made her regret ending their interaction so soon. “Uh,” she hesitated but carried on smoothly. “If you need another drink just find me. You didn't get the bartender’s attention but you definitely caught mine.” She couldn’t pirouette fast enough to get away after a disgusting line like that. Her eyes were squeezed shut in an active wince while she rushed towards the front of the club. 

Yongsun could only blink away the confusion. “Weird.” Her whisper traveled further than expected when a dancing Hyejin approached her from behind. 

“What is?!” With her hands now free to dance above her head, the youngest was unquestionably inebriated swaying her curvaceous hips to the beat. 

“This whole place...where the hell have you been?!” How could she forget that she was deserted by the very same woman who begged her to even be here in the first place? The more she thought about, the faster she downed her drink. 

“It looked like you were doing fine without me.” She winked. 

“What is with everyone today?” Such bizarre behavior. Was she on another planet? And then that’s when she began to wonder. Her phone made a sudden reappearance.

The third year resident shimmied closer to peer over her shoulder. “What are you doing?” 

“Searching this place. I’ve never heard of it.” Yongsun was met with scarce results yet the first link looked promising. She read quietly, her bottom jaw becoming more lax as she immersed herself in the details. 

“Unnie…,” Hyejin practically pleaded, “it’s not that big of a deal.” She already knew what her friend had discovered. 

“A gay club! W-what?! Why?” 

“It’s fun! Now shut up!”

Oh, but the alcohol wouldn’t let her simply _shut up_. “No, Hyejin! No. You could’ve just told me!” It was like a veil had been lifted as she looked around. Her naivety vanished. Women grinding on women. Men touching men. She thought nothing of it until this very moment. And that bartender! She gasped. ' _You didn't get the bartender’s attention but you definitely caught mine.'_ She double gasped.

“You’re an idiot.” The resident physician could only laugh at her. She knew with all her heart that the eldest could care less about another’s sexuality but it was still entertaining all the same. 

“I was being hit on?!” 

“I don’t know, were you?”

“I don’t know, was I?”

“What are you talking about? Probably! Definitely not by that bartender though!”

This time she didn’t plan on having trouble getting her hands on a few shots. She shoved her empty glass into Hyejin’s chest. “You owe me the rest of the night. You hear me?” This brought only a sly smile to the younger’s face. 

“Of course, you idiot.”

She _was_ an idiot and she did what idiots did best in these types of situations: get completely blasted. This was something that Yongsun was exceptionally efficient at. Two or three glasses down and she probably had the same blood alcohol level as those drinking straight from the bottle. Her behavior was becoming so off kilter even Hyejin had trouble keeping up with her. 

“Get down!”

“Make me!”

“Unnie, no one wants to see up your damned skirt!” An inaccurate statement but Hyejin was desperate before their night ended with a trip to the ER. With her hands stabilizing Yongsun’s hips, she was able to coax her down off the bar stool. Funny thing was that no one seemed to care that the woman was putting herself in danger. 

“You never let me have any fun when I actually want to.”

“Yeah, let her have fun!” A random man had chimed in for which Yongsun was overly appreciative. 

“See.”

Hyejin was flabbergasted. “How is that fucking fun?” In all honesty she just looked like a fool with poor rhythm on display for everyone else’s voracious appetites. These losers had nothing else to do with their time at 2AM. Certainly none of them were in the process of getting laid. “Come on, unnie,” she urged as she slung her arm over her shoulders, “I think we are done for tonight.” 

“No.” She had shrugged off Hyejin’s tan arm to join a group on the dance floor. 

“Yongsun-unnie!” It had fallen on deaf ears. Once again she approached her in earnest all the while her friend bounced around in time with the music. “Come on.”

“I let you have your fun all the time, Hyejinie, now let me have mine.” The combination of Yongsun’s look of certainty and soberly spoken words had her backing down. “I’ll be fine. Go on.” It was a complete turn of events. They had switched roles and Hyejin found this both unnerving and exciting. Maybe this would be a good thing for Yongsun. Maybe she’d let loose for once. She deserved all the happiness in the world and how could she be the one to deny her that? Her decision to let her go was finalized when she saw a smile brighter than she had seen in months. 

“Okay, but promise me you’ll leave in the next hour. Call me! And take a cab! And don’t be stupid!” She kept shouting as she crept backwards. “Got it?!” Her commands were met with a charming thumbs up and a twirl of a pleated skirt as Yongsun spun back around to dance with her newfound company.


	3. [M] Every Kind of Way

She had made the right decision. She wasn’t a stick-in-the mud. Never in her life was she a killjoy and she wouldn’t start now. Hyejin was trying to convince herself the whole way back to her apartment. She herself had been left to her own devices so many times before that it shouldn’t irk her to leave a much more responsible Yongsun behind. A stern nod of the head has her reassured. Yes, her friend would be fine. But those words weren’t as persuasive when she let her head hit her pillow. She stared blankly into the darkness, her ceiling tiles starting to appear as her vision adjusted to the night time. The pitter-patter of falling rain disturbed her quiet contemplation. Is this how Yongsun had felt all these years when she would frolic around into the early hours of the morning? The clock read 2:46AM. Like a parent nervously awaiting the return of her child, she counted down the minutes. At that moment she swore to God she would never have a kid. An exaggerated sigh escaped her while the past played behind her eyelids like a film in the cinema.

_“Where are you now? That’s all I want to know then I’ll leave you alone.” Her words were rushed through the phone._

_“Guess!” Hyejin was too excited for her own good. As per usual._

_“There’s no time for games. Just tell me.” It escaped the youngest as to why Yongsun sounded so anxious. She was an adult after all and a physician at that. “Hyejin, I’m being serious. Where are you?”_

_“I’m having a good time with a nice friend of mine.”_

_“Which friend? A guy?”_

_“Whatever I’m in the mood for, unnie.” Usually that would get a cute squeak out of her companion but tonight she was having none of her sass._

_Yongsun carried on like Hyejin never said a thing. “So a woman? Where are you then?” The rustling heard through the phone was most likely from her nervously pacing._

_“A woman or maybe two. The more the merrier.” She continued to slur her cheekiness unapologetically. “You need to relax, unnie. You should probably invest in a night with a girl. Guys are sometimes just—ugh! Guys with their gruff hands. They think you owe them everything. Women are tender...women make you feel—”_

_“Hyejin! I swear if you don’t tell me where you are I am calling the police.”_

That phone call went on for another forty-five minutes without a real conclusion as to where Hyejin was. Yongsun basically led the young woman to her home with small pleads interlaced with strict orders. The things the eldest did to keep her safe. She looked over to the clock’s red digital display once more. 2:48AM. “Fuck!” Placing her pillow onto her face she did her best to muffle the screaming thoughts. 

Contrary to Hyejin’s suffering there were no worries left at the club known as Dive. Those worries had been promised to the heavens as all who entered threw caution to the wind. What was left was sweat and peals of laughter tempered by the deep, heavy bass from the DJ’s sound system. Its vibrations ran through the chest. Ear drums became shell shocked. Bodies grated upon bodies resembling something like fully clothed coitus. 

Yongsun was in the middle of it and for once she celebrated being the center of attention. From somewhere she heard a ‘you’re fucking hot, girl!’ She was positive that it was directed at her and she rotated on her heels to face a thin yet toned guy practically wearing the same crop top as her. It was a strange feeling sharing a matching outfit with a man. Regardless she danced closer to him. “Thanks! You too!” Her skirt rode up her thighs as he pulled her closer by the waist. 

“If I weren’t gay, I’d eat you right up!” She could only laugh at his raunchy compliment. It was strangely sweet and lifted her spirit to heights considered ethereal. Now she knew why Hyejin relished these feelings. The atmosphere was unlike any other. Hot and heavy, yet food for the insouciant soul. Her arms, suddenly lighter-than-air, threw themselves around his neck and she propped her chin on his shoulder. He was slightly taken aback. In the middle of the club Yongsun was half hugging and half grinding on a stranger. All eyes, if not before, were definitely on her now. “You okay there?” She was better than okay but had no words to express that. She remained silent and idly she perused the rest of the club. Maybe it was the alcohol but the more she examined the movements around her, the more elated she became. In Yongsun terms, alcohol led to boldness.

Her confidence peaked when she caught the stare of the brown haired woman from earlier. Perched on a barstool Byulyi struggled to hold back a smile. Yongsun had managed to create an outlandish scene within a mob of heavily drugged and drunk people. It was an oddly impressive feat yet too much for the brunette to outwardly acknowledge. She hid her second-hand embarrassment behind the rim of her glass and broke eye contact. But it was too late. She was already in Yongsun’s crosshairs when a single finger pointed Byulyi’s way. That same finger beckoned her presence to the dancefloor with one or two wags.

The woman’s stomach tumbled down. Did she mean her? Her eyes wandered from her left to her right then back to the blonde. The lack of existence in her vicinity confirmed that, indeed, she really wanted _her_. Byulyi lifted her beverage and shook her head; she was too busy trying to drink the sober way. But that was not a good enough excuse for someone as drunk as Yongsun. It took exactly ten short strides and an abandoned man in a crop top for the nurse to grab her wrist and force her up.

Yongsun smiled encouragingly. “Come on!” Eye to eye, Byulyi would be an idiot to deny a face like hers. Her glass toppled over onto the bar, easily forgotten, as the two women rushed away into the bustling crowd. 

“I really don’t want to dance!” The hands that graced Yongsun’s exposed sides said otherwise. She wasn’t putting up a fight but she didn’t want to seem too eager either. 

“Mhm.” The blonde stifled her laughter with a bite of her lower lip. Completely innocent, even Byulyi knew, but it effectively put her mind into overdrive. Yongsun was clueless to how strong her pull could be. It had the brunette almost falling into her when she then added, “Let’s just have some fun.” 

Surely there was no double meaning behind her statement. But Byulyi began to second guess herself when Yongsun pressed closer and leisurely poked at the first button of her blouse. Her mouth fell open yet no words came. Even if she could respond, a retort would have been ignored for the blonde had simply spun herself around and grinded her backside into the front of Byul’s dark wash jeans. Things were happening fast. She thought she short circuited when Yongsun gently guided the brunette’s hands further up her waist, just beneath her top’s bottom edge. Was she wearing a bra? Her fingers investigated higher but she stopped when she saw her dance partner’s side glance. If she just turned her head their lips would likely meet. They never did when Yongsun suddenly blurted out. 

“I’m tired.” It was just then that she remembered her promise to Hyejin. 

“Huh?!” Her arms dropped to her sides. “Well...okay.” The nurse was already walking away determined to wade herself through to the front of the club and Byulyi was hot on her heels. It was too degrading to be left by her lonesome just like that. “And where are you going?”

Yongsun was searching through her bag as she monotonously answered, “Home.”

“How?” 

“The same way I got here.” 

“Which is...?” 

“A vehicle of sorts.” The amount of snarkiness she exuded would put Hyejin to shame. She was already dialing for a cab.

“I’m just trying to make sure you don’t do something stupid. You’re pretty drunk.” 

This time the blonde looked up from her phone application to squint at Byulyi. “I’m not pretty drunk. I’m beautifully tipsy.” The response was met with a few beats of silence then an outburst of laughter from the other. 

“W-what is wrong with you? Okay, fine. Let’s go together. Does that sound like a plan?” 

“Mm, okay.” 

The car ride lacked luster in comparison to the upbeat club ambience but it’s not like Byulyi had expected anything else. It was the responsible decision to buddy up with someone after a night of partying. Not being completely sober herself she felt that they owed each other this civic duty as young females. The persistent jingling from the next seat over jostled her from her daydreaming and now she watched as Yongsun struggled to find _something_ in that tiny purse of hers. A string of not-so-quiet curses outplayed the radio music coming from upfront.

“Lose anything?” 

“My key—” 

The driver interrupted her when the car came to a stop. “First drop-off. Have a good...morning.” 

“Oh...uh. Thank you.” Regardless, Yongsun departed from the vehicle with a gentle farewell aimed at the duet. 

The brunette sighed. She could not, in good conscience, potentially leave this stranger to stand outside her apartment for who knows how long. She again remembered her so-called civic duty. “Hold on, mister.” In seconds she had left the grumbling man behind and was tapping on Yongsun’s shoulder. “Hey, did you find your key?” 

“Still looking…,” she absently spoke with her nose deep in her bag. Byulyi swiped it away and moments later she pulled out a piece of round plastic. 

“This it?” 

“Yes!” Just a simple fix reignited Yongsun’s excitement. “You’re awesome.” She looked at the key fob then back at Byulyi then at the entrance to the complex. She smiled with a newfangled energy. 

“I know, I know.” The woman was already on her way back to the cab when she heard the blonde call after her. 

“Hey! You want to come in?” It froze Byul on the spot. There was no way she heard that right. “You know, for drinks!” Well, at least she wasn’t going deaf. She timidly nodded over her shoulder as she was met with Yongsun’s ecstatic grin. 

In no time she had sent away the cab driver and accompanied the apartment dweller to her home. On the elevator ride up Yongsun was unexpectedly chatty. In the hallway she was even moreso. She rambled about this being ‘so unlike myself’ and added, on several occasions, that her friend ‘Hyejin would be proud' she was 'making friends' with randoms. Now entering the apartment, she went on and on regarding how she ‘stuck it to the world.’ She wasn’t as ‘boring’ as people claimed her to be. It was if she had garnered up an alcoholic second wind. 

But Byulyi was in another universe altogether. Of course she nodded where appropriate and laughed at what seemed to be jokes, but she was currently on the verge of a mental breakdown. It was just for drinks. She repeated that mantra over and over again. She wouldn’t expect anything more. She shouldn’t. Glancing down at her watch, her hands went clammy. Who the fuck continues to drink at someone’s place at 3:14 in the morning?! Desperate girls, she thought. Desperate girls that never stood a chance at least not with someone like Yongsun. Now that she mulled the idea over, alcohol was probably the best cure for this unquenchable anxiety. She needed to be on this blonde’s level of peppy. 

“So what do you think?” 

“What?” She had forgone reality enough to miss the question. 

“My apartment! Take a seat on the couch over there.” Yongsun was already wandering away to the next room which left Byulyi in peace to actually appreciate her surroundings without a nervous fit. Removing her wedge sandals, she shuffled over the hardwood floor to meet the couch in the middle of the living area. Overall it was plain but not so much bland. It seemed that the blonde intentionally omitted potential areas for ornamentation for a more minimalistic approach. The clean, white walls had all of Byulyi’s attention. That was until Yongsun came back in with a bottle of wine. “It’s red. The only good thing I really have. Vintage. I think.” As she poured the wine, her guest took the liberty to read the wine label. 

“I wouldn’t call 2018 vintage.” 

The lightweight didn't know up from down when it came to these things. “Whatever. It’s kinda old. I don’t know.” Who was Byulyi to complain? She wanted alcohol. Here before her the nurse presented alcohol. It may have been an overcompensation but she had already downed about half the glass before Yongsun ever took her first sip. She knew she had some catching up to do; she just never planned to catch up _that_ quickly. Only twenty-five minutes and one wine bottle later was there a childish bickering between the two. 

“You can’t. I bet you forty million you can’t.” 

She was beyond offended. Did this woman just come into to _her_ apartment and question _her_ ability to run a catwalk. “I so fucking can.” First and foremost she was a medical professional, no doubt. But everyone had that _one_ thing that they so desired to become before reality planted a stop sign in front of their dreams. For Yongsun, that was to become a model. A damn sexy one for that matter. Now of all times she would use this golden opportunity to prove her worth. “Step aside! Watch carefully.” Byulyi was seated on the edge of the couch with her hand over her mouth in preparation for whatever came next. Yongsun was so drunk there was no possibility that the brunette would be able to hold in her giggling at her ridiculousness. Once she struck a pose it was going to be—

  


**_Smoldering._** The wine glass in Byulyi’s other hand almost slipped onto the floor. She had luckily managed to regain her grip last second. Her stare was unwavering, mouth fully agape, as she shielded her awe with her palm. It was a view from behind but somehow the most magnificent sight that ever beheld her eyes. The way the blonde’s hips jutted to one side and accentuated the curve in her waist. She had bent forward slightly and that gave Byul an idea of where those perfect thighs would end under her skirt. Yongsun complimented the look with a turn of her head back towards her guest then she finished it all off with a wink. The performance hadn't ended there. Flipping her hair over she about faced and swung her hips side to side until she practically stood over Byulyi. This forced the brunette to stare up at the woman, otherwise she'd be awkwardly faceplanted into an exercised abdomen. 

Neither knew if it was the drinking, the ceremonious sashaying, or some odd combination of the two but Yongsun had found herself climbing into the other's lap. It was playful behavior but Byulyi trembled even so. And the glass she so strongly held onto before clunked to the floor and rolled off to only God know's where. It was a mess to be dealt with some other time. Right now Yongsun's whispered repetition of , "I so fucking can," against her ear had become the main attraction. The blonde had to have had the same desires as she. Wasn't it obvious? That idea was tested first with a single kiss to the side of Yongsun's neck. There was light gasp in response followed by the noise's owner leaning away to question the brunette with her gaze. Oh no. No way. This couldn't possibly be misconstrued and the patience that Byulyi so proudly wore on a daily basis vanished like a vapor when both hands reached up to frame Yongsun's face. Their lips met roughly, soley due to her selfishness to smash the rising tension.

And the blonde wouldn't nor couldn't deny that she was being a complete tease. She acted this way with Hyejin and most other friends. Hell, she even did so with a gay man in a crop top just an hour before. But through the course of the night this game had gone awry. It turned to provocation. Somewhere along the line her mind and body had unconsciously challenged the brunette to make a move. That's why she didn't act shocked for long when Byulyi scratched at her scalp to pull her closer. The kiss remained one sided just briefly before Yongsun parted her lips to coax an eager tongue into her mouth. This really wasn't at all how she predicted her night to go but she went with it regardless. She inched herself further against the brunette. A hand brushed down the small of her back, down her one thigh then back up to cup her ass beneath her skirt. It was then she let out mix between a whimper and groan. The responsible party must've been eying that part of her from the start to be so possessive of it. Foreign teeth dragged along her bottom lip, ending the kiss, before she heard an unrecognizably throaty voice. "You like that?" She winced as the same hand smacked her ass then palmed her backside once again. _What the fuck?_ She, in fact, enjoyed it too much and emphasized the feeling by pushing Byulyi down onto the couch. Again they collided in a frenzy of heated kisses. This time Yongsun was the one leading the way. Her fingers tangling in the other's brown locks as their teeth clashed in a messy desire to touch, grope, and just _feel._ The incessant need only worsened from there. Grinding her panty-ladened groin into the other's jean-clad thighs did nothing to quell the heat developing in her abdomen. She was surely only making a mess of herself down there. 

"Let me—I didn't finish—," Yongsun huffed out after breaking off their kiss and halting her hips. The woman beneath her shook her head in confusion but the thumbs strokings the back of the blonde's thighs urged her to continue. "The tour. Let me show you my bedroom." _So fucking smooth, Kim Yongsun_. That part of her dignity was utterly ignored. This _need_ was all that mattered. 

"Oh. Oh yeah!" The notion struck Byulyi like ice water to the face. They had launched themselves from the couch. From there it was race to see who could undress quicker all the while giving each other a sloppy kiss here and there. The brunette had gotten through unbuttoning half of her blouse when she was being pulled by her jean's waistband and onto the neatly made bed of her counterpart. "Shut the door?" 

"Who's going to see?" True, Byulyi thought. But that thought was quickly washed over when, on the opposite wall, she saw a framed photo of what seemed to be Yongsun with her parents and presumably a sibling. Sorry, she inwardly apologized to the picture. She was about to do some ungodly things to their daughter. It was a beautiful family though. All rationality left her, however, when her attention was forced back to the blonde straddling her waist. Off came that taunting white crop top and what was left were two perfect breasts supported in a white lace bra. A stupid fucking bra was between Byulyi and quenching her deepest, hidden thirst for the first time. She thanked the creators of fermented grapes for she had been given a brashness that she had never before possessed. Maybe it was the flimsy material or maybe it was her superhuman strength built on lust, but she tore through the undergarment like a rabid animal. She sat up then, mouth tasting one of the mounds in full as her free hands held her firmly at the sides. 

"Fuck, yes!" The outburst encouraged her actions further. Her tongue flicked her nipple and then her lips encircled the bud to suck delicately. But something about this for either of them wasn't enough. So Yongsun clawed through the navy blue blouse, the buttons violently popping off in every which way, and now she latched onto Byulyi's neck. Unlike her partner, she violently sucked at the skin to mark her claim. This person, this woman was hers for the night and it was an equal trade. The blonde hadn't planned for it, but she'd give her all of her as well. The only barrier between them now was what was left of their clothing.

While Yongsun was busying herself with removing her panties from under her skirt, an electronic chirping distracted Byulyi from the main event. It was a high-pitched beep then two then three that came from the nightstand beside her head. The insistent ringing that continued to play right next to her ear infuriated Byulyi enough to finally weakly say something. "Hey...your phone." Despite her innards being laced with annoyance from the interruption, she was calm enough to gently pursuade the other to actually answer it. 

_Oh, shit..._ Reality hit hard and fast when she saw the name on the screen. Yongsun knew her life was over. With her underwear flung in the face of her lover, she flopped over to find the phone she had discarded here earlier in the night. "Hello?!"

"Unnie! Are you okay?! Yah! I told you to call me!" It was Hyejin's time to act the part of a concerned mother especially since her friend sounded extremely out of breath. "I've been waiting this whole time!" 

Yongsun shrugged and then apologetically grimaced down at Byulyi who was peeling the blonde's thong off her face before answering. "I'm sorry. I forgot. I'm home and I'm...in bed." It was the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. The conversation continued back in forth, one scolding while the eldest persistently begged for forgiveness. It was noise that was easily muted by the brunette. Instead she brazenly stared at the perky breasts above her. She then fondled those said breasts. The action earned her a slap to the wrists and a glare. But she didn't care. She persevered despite Yongsun's determent and sat up to plant kisses along her collar bone. The blonde's eyes had rolled back and her mind blanked momentarily. A weird noise came from her throat. 

"...Yongsun-unnie? Did you just die?"

"No—no!" Her laugh was unconvincing but Hyejin didn't push further. "I'm just tired." She smacked at the center of Byulyi's chest to shove her back down onto the bed. "I'm going to sleep." At that Byulyi chortled for which Yongsun covered her mouth. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." 

"Mm, sleep well." The detective known as Hyejin would be sure to investigate her behavior another day. 

Once the lashing from her friend was over, Yongsun quickly tried to turn the tables on the fiend trapped below her. She tightened her hold over her lips. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Byulyi knew two could play at this game. Her hand disappeared beneath the nurse's skirt letting her fingers dance between her newly panty-less thighs. There was a definitive gasp when she had hit the right spot and, oh, was she wet. The feud was soon forgotten and Yongsun gave thanks by rolling her hips as the brunette's digits picked up their pace over her clit. Only seconds ticked by before laxity took over her jaw, hands, and legs. Like putty she melted into the Byul's touch, angling herself enough to get those fingers _deeper._ Her swollen clit deserved the relief after months of sexual deprivation anyway. 

Pure chance. That's all it took and Byulyi's eyes had widened at the sudden heat engulfing her index and middle fingers. Yongsun's attempts to provide herself more friction led to something else altogether. Neither regretted it. Their movements didn't skip a beat when the blonde threw her head back and bucked herself on to this new source of pleasure. From her face to her bouncing breasts to her skirt riding higher and higher, Byulyi had no idea where to look. She just knew she wanted her to feel more. And like in all those lesbian pornos that she had invested in, she wanted to finger fuck the blonde until those shouts of ecstasy were nothing but ragged breaths. Well, that was the plan before Yongsun unbuttoned the brunette's jeans and slid her hand inside them taking no time to find what she wanted. "Holy shi—," Byul was cut off by a scathing kiss and a hot-breathed moan from the other. 

The blonde growled into her mouth, "Fuck, baby!" and Byulyi never thought _that_ word could sound so enticing. If they weren't before, her neck and ears were definitely red now. The bedframe rocked the wall. Yongsun rode her fingers harder and harder, once synchronized movements falling out of rhythm. Her cramping fingers were knuckle deep in this woman but her thrusts became less persistent the more Yongsun touched her. Between the puddle pooling warmly in the brunette's hand and the meticulous fingertips drawing circles on her clit, she was pushed over the edge. She exhaled a poorly held back groan, abdomen clenching in reaction to an overwhelming orgasm. It was strong; it was sudden and all other self-inflicted climaxes paled in comparison.

Her thighs clamped around Yongsun's wrist and she practically cried out, "Okay—okay! Okay, fuck!" That's when she realized that the blonde had stopped moving all together, from her waist to her hand, and most likely never took her eyes off her while she unraveled. Byulyi could tell that she had enjoyed the show with those deep brown eyes. As she came down from her high she thought that she'd never forget them. That lovey dovey feeling soon fell away when she saw the stupid, smug expression displayed on the lips she had desperately kissed before. 

"Good, right?" It was a mental pat on the back for Yongsun. Though she knew Hyejin would probably endlessly poke fun at her for ending up in this girl on girl predicament, in some ways her friend would be fucking proud. This was _different_. She had explored a side of her that she had always shrugged off. Exploration was the key to fulfillment! She made a _woman_ cum. That realization must have presented itself on her face as a look of confrontation to the other because she abruptly felt an explosive push from below. She was on her back now. The fingers that had just been fucking her senseless were immediately replaced with something much warmer and wetter. With her skirt pushed up past her waist, Yongsun had a perfect view of the brunette's head between her thighs. She had spoken too soon, hadn't she? Whatever the hell Byulyi was doing to her was _way_ fucking better than just _good_. Her legs fell open allowing the brunette to have her way with her. She arched her back and that forced the other's face closer into her. She must've been a pro at this. Yongsun couldn't think otherwise while she experienced her tongue expertly switch from lapping at her entrance to tracing her clit. Just a little longer...just a little more. But then there was a halt to the action and no longer were the blonde's eyes squeezed shut. Instead they were wide open in shock. Looking up at her was the shit-eating grin of her current lover, chin glistening from Yongsun's wetness. 

"It's good..." A long pause was then followed by, "Right?" There was no response as Byulyi felt her face being shoved back down into Yongsun's pussy. She didn't mind it one bit though. The taste would become more addictive the more she practiced. This implied that she'd be in this position in the future, but that thought quickly dispersed as soon as it came when she heard Yongsun whimper. Byulyi caught a glimpse of the blonde beauty just when she reached the point of finishing. The tip of her tongue lightened its weight against her clit and she only stopped when the blonde commanded her with a pull at her hair. "Ow!" The grip lessened into nothing allowing Byulyi to relax her cheek against her inner thigh. She then dared to press one last kiss to her heat. Her pussy pulsated against her lips for those few seconds. Again, she glanced up to check on the status of the stranger turned lover. "Uh."

She was completely passed the fuck out or she seemed to be. Byulyi prodded at her leg with her pointer finger to rouse her. Finding this unsuccessful she then decided on the tactic of smearing the remnants of Yongsun's wetness onto her skin. "Hey...!" The blonde's tired protest had no strength behind it. Still awake but barely. The younger of the women smiled at her softness and inched her way up. Once at her eye level, she had expected to be met again with those dark chestnut eyes but soon discovered that the other had _really_ fallen asleep this time around.

"You drunk," Byulyi murmured then placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. She barely stirred, though the brunette swore she saw the beginnings of a smile. Something swelled in her chest then. She couldn't quite place the feeling but it might have been a blend of gratitude and appreciation, perhaps something more. This woman, despite her childishness and poor choices, was wholly good. This must be how everyone felt about their firsts. The excuse was compelling enough for her to finally relieve herself of the blonde in her arms, zip up her pants, and rebutton what was left of her blouse. She visited the bathroom to gather herself before tip toeing to the bedroom doorway for her grand exit. 

Plans to sneak away were momentarily put on hold when she noticed a peculiar image displayed on the dresser. There stood a photo of two young women, one beaming with a bright smile while the more sultry female smooched at the other's round cheek. Yongsun had her natural hair color then and looked as happy as she had been tonight. Clearly she was just as genuine with her friends as she was with people she barely knew. That was something that the brunette could not relate to. She could only hope to be half as satisfied but the nightmarish shame of fulfilling such a dream edged the wishful thinking away. It was impossible. Who could possibly have everything they had ever wanted? Byulyi was a realist. A one night stand would change nothing and life would go on as if this part of her timeline never happened. That notion hardly swayed her as she once more looked between her lover and the photo. This time her focus fell on the other woman in the picture whose voice she presumed she heard on the phone. "You're so fucking lucky." _To share memories with her. To have her. To keep her and to have her proudly on display. To have someone like her in your life. By your side. In every kind of way._

It wasn't fair to harbor a jealousy towards someone she had never met especially when that someone was probably only a friend. And what did that matter? Byulyi meant nothing to Yongsun and vice versa. They were simply passing by each other in this world. Yet as she finally made her way to leave, her yearning heart willed her to stay to find out maybe, just maybe, things could be different. But her brain was stronger today as it was on every other day before. Still, it all felt so unconvincing. 


	4. Story of Her Life

The days passed into weeks. At first it was a major adjustment to a conservative Yongsun but the memories of her aberrant behavior from _that_ particular night began fading. This was especially true when she realized she was running out of preparation time. Her move-in date was quickly approaching and she still had some _small_ items, such as her entire set of bedroom furniture, to haul from point A to point B. It was a 3-hour drive from Daegu to Seoul and Hyejin graciously offered to help Yongsun pay for a crew to take care of the oversized load. The relief washed over her. She only had to worry about lugging some small knick-knacks that were left around her old apartment. With her arm slung around Hyejin's shoulders, she ruffled her golden hair with her free hand and thanked her in her nicest of voices, the appreciative and older sibling-like one. "You're so good to me, Hyejinie!" Almost too good, Yongsun thought. The suspicion arose from the deepest parts of her soul. Wait a flying fuck of a minute. Yes, the younger could be sweet and thoughtful, but she was never _this_ selfless. 

"I know. It's my weakness. It's almost as if you owe me _something."_ There it was, the catch-22, and Yongsun knew immediately what she was referring to. She had no idea how she escaped this conversation for as long as she did. For Hyejin to wait so patiently to pounce on this prime moment meant that she _really, really_ wanted the know-how. 

"And what would that be?" 

"You know exactly what I want." The dirt, the gossip, the entire details of what happened on that night just weeks before. 

The blonde tried her luck at playing it off initially. "Hyejin-ah, we already went over this. I went home." That's what Yongsun had told her on the phone right when it was all _happening_. No lies were involved. She just chose to leave all the gruesome details out. 

"Mhm. Right," she uninterestingly answered as she shrugged the eldest's arm off of her. Hyejin created some distance between herself and Yongsun on the couch to get a good look at her guilty expression. "With who, unnie?" The cross examination was not going to end until she got what she wanted. 

"Hyejin!" 

_Bingo_. That kind of response inferred that something did happen. She hit the gold mine. "Was he good?" 

"Oh my God." The phrase came out entirely in English; her embarrassment had caused her to temporarily forget her native language. The youngest knew she had her right where she wanted her. Sleeping with some rando wasn't the most sinful thing Hyejin had ever done but for the other it was as juicy as it could get. 

"Unnie, for fuck's sakes. My third year is already killing my ass. I had about three hours of sleep and yet here I am paying for you to _selfishly_ move away to start a new life without me. Just give me _something_! I cant—." 

"It was a woman." 

The normally outspoken physician dead-panned. There was no way. She forced out an unamused laugh. "Shut up. I am being serious. Just tell me what actually happened." Thinking it would be a long interrogation, Hyejin glanced at the time on her phone then scrolled through a few unread messages. About thirty seconds passed without a peep from the other and the youngest looked back up in sudden wonderment. Yongsun's face said it all. It was the truth. "Are you for real?!" She grappled with her shoulders only to scream louder. "A fucking woman?!" 

Yongsun's voice was rattled by Hyejin violently shaking her. "Y-yes—"

"A woman?! A vagina. Boobs?! The whole shebang?!" Hah. Shebang...she banged. Hyejin took the time to inwardly applaud herself before tending to more important matters. "Wow! How was it?" The impossible became possible. Forget solving world peace and world hunger. A miracle had just occurred in front of her very eyes. 

"Please. Can you not?" It's not like Yongsun _wanted_ to forget what had happened but, rather, she didn't know exactly what to do from here. The easiest solution to her was to move on and leave it in the past. She was beginning a new stage of her life as a surgical nurse at Seoul National University Hospital. The last thing she needed was to be having an existential crisis on her inner-most desires and the annals of human sexuality. Her ass needed to be in gear once she was completely uprooted from Daegu. No distractions were necessary. 

"It's not that big of a deal, unnie." That statement was a crock of shit but Hyejin needed to tactfully get the deets. Her enunciation softened further. "I just want to share these things with you. It makes me feel close to you." _Don't gag, don't gag, don't gag._ "Please..."

Yongsun let out a huff. She had vanquished all resolve. "Okay." The story that followed had Hyejin biting at her already short nails. Moments like these made her wish for a longer set but gynecological surgery had its rules. She ooed and ahhed then, about ten minutes into the nitty-gritty, left and came back with a bottle of beer from the fridge to cool herself off. Hyejin had no idea her older friend could be such a slut with lesbian tendencies. What a delicious turn of events.

"And then what?!" They did the _deed_. The youngest got that but what would really bring her fulfillment was information on the next day.

_The morning after Yongsun's night with the stranger she had awoken with a jackhammer to the head. The sun pierced through her open shades. She tossed and turned to avoid the light in her eyes until finally slamming her face into her pillow. "Uhhhhh." The drawn out noise reverbiating through her skull worsened her distress. Weakly lifting herself she gathered just enough strength to smack her phone screen on the side table. The time told her it was already into the evening. She had spent the entire day as a dead body. "Great," she muttered._

_With her knotted hair in her face, she gave up using her fingers to comb through the strands. Unless she took a shower it would be a wasted effort. Her hand rubbed slowly at her face as she tried to shake the fog of last night away and a strange scent from her fingers did just that. She stared at her right hand until the drunk memories began pouring in: the dancing, the drinking, the laughing, the kissing, the touching and licking, that orgasm. She grabbed at her bare chest just then. Shirtless meant nothing. It had to have been a dream. "Shit!"_

_The mess in her living proved otherwise. The hardwood floor had been stained with a deep purple and some even splashed onto the light grey leather of her couch. It all started right here and now she glared at the empty wine bottle. Never again will she subject herself to the evils of alcohol. She must've made a fool of herself. The thoughts flooded her but, for some reason, the panic she had expected to come never did. Oddly, the adrenaline just remained in her veins as excitement and never evolved into anything else. It may have been the thrill of going out with a bang. Or maybe it was the cute smile engrained in her brain but she stood there in the middle of her apartment as her pent up emotion escaped her through the sound of laughter._

As the recollection came to an end, Hyejin looked quizzicle. "So...you were having a mental breakdown?" That seemed to be the conclusion the youngest came to. 

"No, I was fine." 

"Then what was so funny?" Dramatic Hyejin expected Yongsun's realization that she slept with a female to be more melodramatic. Disappointingly, it was not. 

Yongsun shrugged. "I don't know. It just felt like something to laugh at."

To that the physician rolled her eyes and fell back into the couch with a sigh. "How can you make an end to a story about a night out with a hot girl so boring, unnie?" What followed after were a continuous barrage of punches from the eldest the whole afternoon as Hyejin continued to tease her to no end. 

The comfortability of her old life prior to moving to Daegu had all but disappeared. It was adjustment after adjustment. She had a new, more expensive apartment that was the same size of her other one since inflation was a common theme in bigger cities. She had hoped to make it more homey in the following days to come but that plan was on the backburner as she was more preoccupied with finishing the final pages of the orientation packet for her new job. It took one week of PowerPoints and hundreds of signatures to get to this point. She thought hours of touring the hospital with an administrator and meeting the operating room staff was torture enough but being locked in a conference room with a bunch of other newbies took the cake in the competition of boredom. Her dumb pencil skirt's material scratched her legs and the new heels she bought were creating blisters on her toes. Damn it. She became a nurse to wear comfy scrubs, not business casual.

"Yongun-ssi?" A polite, female voice stirred her from her inward complaints. In the doorway of the conference room stood an unfamiliar young woman, similar in height as herself. Her light brown hair was neatly tucked into a bun save for a few loose ends contrasting the baginess of her OR scrubs. She was petite and her attire was definitely two sizes too large. 

"Yes, miss." The blonde stood at attention then bowed. 

The other bowed in response before urging her to follow her. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Jung Wheein. I'm one of the OR nurse supervisors. Come with me." To Yongsun it felt unlikely that such a young person could be responsible for the whole operating room then again she only had one nursing job before this. Her old—actually middle-aged—crochety nursing supervisor was the biggest pain in the ass and a reason the blonde started looking for a new job altogether. This woman was for sure a sight for sore eyes and an encouraging sign for her. "I know you met the other supervisor, Seoyeon-ssi, already. Usually you see me on the first day but I've been on vacation. We all need a break from this stuff sometimes. I'm sure you know." Yongsun nodded. "So we already got you scrub access through your ID card. Basically swipe at the machines that are by the locker room...someone showed you where that is, right?" Yongsun nodded again. "Good. You make your own password and, boom, you're in. Scrubs for days." Wheein led them down the hallway towards the operating room suites. "I know you have your scrub class. Pretty much you're ready to go. Remind me again of your experience." 

"So...," Yongsun started, "I did OB/GYN before this."

"Cool!" She opened the door to the OR breakroom. "Floor or have you been to the OR?"

"Postpartum, actually." Why did she feel useless with that answer? There was always a first time for everything. 

Wheein hummed happily. "Nice. Obstetrics has its own operating room upstairs. We have some gynecological cases here but only certain nurses scrub into those." She sat down at a table and offered a seat to Yongsun. "But all training starts the same way here. You study the general instrument trays to make sure you remember the names, uses, and how to hand them off to the surgeon. Most of the trays are the same but they start to differ based on specialty and surgeon preference." Yongsun swore she saw the bubbly woman roll her eyes at the last two words. "Things can get complicated so it's important to keep track of it all so the surgery runs smoothly."

It sounded like a lot but workaholic Yongsun was always up for a challenge. "Typically how long will I be training for before being on my own?" 

"It really depends on experience and how quickly you pick things up. For some people it takes two months, others are ready in a couple of weeks. But....hm." Wheein pondered an idea, fingers rapping on the tabletop. "Usually I ask your preference." Yongsun raised her shoulders in indifference. "But, right, you've never done this before." She smoothed down her hair as she continued, "Okay, hear me out. I plan to start you in the general surgery cases like everyone else. Lap appies, cholecystectomies... basic stuff like that...but..." The blonde could sense that she was hesitating on some thought; the suspense was eating at her heart. "So! There is this great opportunity. We have this new position opening up for trauma surgery." 

"...trauma surgery...?" Yongsun's wavering murmur had Wheein explaining further. 

"I swear it's not like it sounds." Wheein blinked then corrected herself. "Okay, what I mean is that it's not _that_ bad. Usually we all cover trauma and we all take call* for it. But some genius," she gladly pointed to herself, "thought it was a great idea to have designated staff for trauma. The trays aren't that complicated and super similar to the general trays you first learn at the start." 

"Then why do you need someone..."

"Special?" Not exactly the word Yongsun had in mind but close enough. "It's more for the surgeons themselves. It's best if they work with the same person over and over again. In fast-paced situations like a trauma, the operating room needs everyone on the same page. I will say it does take a _certain_ personality so I understand if you decline." 

The new hire puffed out her cheeks which Wheein noted right away with a smile. Yongsun couldn't help smiling back at her even as she countered. "I have no experience though."

"And that's why it's perfect! We actually want new blood for something like this. No bad habits. A clean slate for us to teach you the right away." 

This cute smooth talker must've been a lawyer in her past life. She could probably make anything sound good to Yongsun at this point so there was no internal conflict when she blurted out, "sure, why not?" And that was actually a decent question to ask herself. Nothing should hold her back from trying something different. It was her chance to reach for her best. Life goes by so fast and she only wanted to do what she thought was right. Close her eyes and all opportunities could pass without a hand to catch them.

Wheein seemed surprised that her pitch actually worked, and she stood up in her excitement and Yongsun followed suit. "Awesome! Like I said before we aren't going to throw you into it just yet. The next few weeks you'll be paired with another scrub nurse. I'll drop in too to make sure you're doing okay. There's Seoyeon-ssi too. Basically you'll always have someone around you if you have any questions or concerns." 

"Thank you, Wheein-ssi." 

"It's my job! But you're always welcome. Remember that. You have your schedule for this week? I think you're first day is Tuesday, right?" The slightly shorter woman guided them back out towards the room where Yongsun's day first started. 

"Yes. Where should I meet?" She questioned as she gathered up her paperwork that was left behind on the conference room table. 

"You should have an assigned locker already. Just get changed first and I'll find you in the breakroom at six."

Yongsun's mind retched at the time she mentioned. It was an hour earlier than her previous job but whatever. New life, new paycheck, new woman. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Typically staff such as physicians, technicians, nurses can be "on call", meaning they are available to work if called in to do so. This is especially done at night or during emergencies. 


	5. You're Gonna Go Far, Kid

The whirlwind known as Kim Yongsun's life had finally begun to settle into something more recognizable. Her nights of collapsing into her bed with aching bones, groans, and psychic moans were now at least enjoyable. She now had the time and energy to plop herself onto her couch and unwind with an herbal tea steaming in her grasp. Everything was falling into place nicely even at work. There were a few hitches in the learning process but she could now confidently distinguish most surgical instruments. It helped that her colleagues were super supportive and simply answered her— what she thought were— stupid questions rather than poke fun at her inexperience. She guessed that they were all in her shoes at some point in their career. It made it all bearable. 

But the jitters that had gone away with time had returned with a vengeance. Today marked the day that Yongsun would be put forth into the surgical world entirely by herself. Was she performing the surgery? No. However that did little to calm the anxiety pitted deeply in her stomach. She didn't want to fuck it up. She didn't want to be disheartened if she made a mistake. More importantly, she did not want to be the cause of someone's demise on the surgical table. Wheein's insistent pats on the back and words of encouragement in the locker room told her just the opposite. 

"You'll do great, Yongsun-ssi." The blonde had learned over the weeks that Wheein was almost five years younger than her yet spewed maturity and confidence from all angles. She also always managed to do it with a smile. Just another person who was the target of Yongsun's aspirations. "I'll be dropping by throughout the whole thing. Just take a look at the board before going in that way you know who you're working with. The trauma surgeon is fairly new here but I don't expect anything to be wonky." 

"Trauma...surgeon? I thought I was doing an appendectomy." Her throat felt like it was closing. What did she just sign up for?

Wheein could see the panic and dialed it back. "You are. I promise, you are. The trauma surgeon does regular cases like these too when there's no one crashing their car into a pole." She hoped Yongsun appreciated dark humor. "The hospital can't have a perfectly good surgeon waiting around for someone to get stabbed. It's all about money for the system." 

Those words squelched the negative feelings enough to get her through the doors of OR suite 3. Donned in her surgical mask, cap, and gown she awaited the arrival of anyone else that wasn't the circulating nurse* bustling from cabinet to cabinet and door to door making sure Yongsun had all her supplies. The blonde could only watch as this person flew perpetually from one end of the room to the other. It gave off an unnecessary uptight energy that the scrub nurse hardly appreciated but the atmosphere was shattered with the entrance of a tall yet gawky, young man. Even with most his face covered Yongsun could tell he had a handome facial structure. 

"Hello, friends!" He was overly cheerful and oddly informal. There was not a chance that this man could possibly be—

The circulating nurse stopped unpackaging yet another piece of equipment to greet him. "Ah, Dr. Shim! How are you?" Still trapped in her disbelief, Yongsun gaped behind her mask at the familiarity between the two. This chirpy bird was the _surgeon?_ She realized then that her silence could be taken as rudeness and she quickly reevaluated her behavior. She had to make a good first impression. 

Her bow was shallow as to not contaminate her sterile gloves and gown. "Hello, sir. I'm Kim Yongsun. I'll be scrubbed in with you." 

"Oh, no! No, no. You do _not_ want me to be the one operating." The physician simply laughed at the misunderstanding. "I'm the anesthesiologist. I stay over here and just make sure the patient's breathing." He pointed insistently at the surgical table where the head of the patient would be. "But it's very nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Shim." 

Mistake number one was forgetting to look at the board that listed the name of each surgical case's surgeon and anesthesiologist. The second mistake was mixing those two people up. She was for sure flustered now. "I apologize. It's nice to meet you as well." Dr. Shim and the circulating nurse, Jiyeon, were too distracted to even acknowledge her once the patient had been wheeled into the room. As they busied themselves prepping the patient it gave her time to regain her composure. Like the fates had willed it she heard a familiar voice from the back entrance to the OR suite. 

"How's it going in here?!"

"Wheein-ssi!" Both the physician and circulating nurse announced her arrival. 

Wheein's appearance settled Yongsun's soul. The short woman made haste to assist Jiyeon and the anesthesiologist in moving the now unconscious and intubated patient from the stretcher to the table. The three chit-chatted around the body like old friends that hadn't seen each other in years. It was strangely endearing to the newbie and one day she hoped to be as comfortable as them.

The astute supervisor had noticed the blonde's aloofness and made sure to check on her. "And you, Yongsun-ssi? How are you doing?" 

"I'm okay." She was on the verge of vomiting her breakfast but all-in-all it was a great start to her day.

"There's nothing to worry about. This will be like second nature to you in no time!" Just then the OR doors swung open.

Dr. Shim looked away from the monitor to get a glimpse of whoever had entered. His voice echoed as he boomed, "Ah! It's the woman of the hour!" Despite being completely ignored by the additional company, the playful glint in his eyes never faltered. Yongsun thought it must've been impossible for him to act otherwise; she wanted to feel bad for him but her attention was moreso on the new woman's slim form standing at the side of the surgical table. She had bypassed all formalities to greet the OR staff and chose, instead, to keep her focus on the patient, hands placed firmly on her hips. It was as if there was no one else in the room as she burned a hole in the patient's belly with her seemingly blank stare.

The whole room was silent until Wheein cleared her throat once then louder the second time around with the obvious intent to garner this masked woman's attention. With her hands still on her waist, the newcomer spun around to face the source of that ceaseless noise. "Dr. Moon. It's nice of you to join us." Wheein's sharp sarcasm seeped through her surgical mask and brought shivers down Yongsun's spine. 

"Do you have a marking pen?" Again, she completely ignored everyone else to maintain focus on her objective of slicing this person open. Yongsun, being so taken aback, had no idea that the surgeon was aiming the question at her. Byulyi stood there with her palm extended out towards her then shook it impatiently. "Pen?"

"Oh!" The scrub nurse rushed to hand one over from her instrument table.

Wheein rolled her eyes then threw an apologetic glance Yongsun's way. This was not over for the nursing supervisor just yet. "Dr. Moon, I think it would benefit us all if I formally introduced you to your new scrub nurse. You know, the person you'll be working with closely from here on out." The surgeon never looked up once as she drew, what seemed to be, arbitrary purple lines on the patient's abdomen. The tension was at its peak now and suddenly dispersed when Wheein practically yelled, "Dr. Moon!" 

"Huh?" The surgeon finally looked up, recapping the pen and stuffing it in her scrub's breast pocket.

"Remember your request to have your own scrub nurse? Well, here she is, all thanks to yours truly. This is Kim Yongsun. She will be working with you." All fucks were thrown out the window by now. There was no room for Wheein to play nice when this airhead didn't give her the time of day.

Byulyi's eyes squinted over her surgical mask at Yongsun. "That's not Jiyeon-ssi?"

"I'm over here, Dr. Moon..." Jiyeon waved lazily from the desk caddy cornered to one side of the room. 

The surgeon exhaled hot air from her nostrils in a huff. The turn of events completely vexed her. "I'm...I'm sorry." Her attitude made a 180 as she bowed towards Yongsun at 90 degrees. 

None of this came as a surprise to Wheein. She had noticed Dr. Moon's odd behaviors the moment the new surgeon started practicing at this facility. At first she interpreted it as discourteousness but came to understand that the young surgeon had _a lot_ on her plate. What seemed to be a lack of focus was actually her fixation to do her job perfectly. Everything else took a back seat to Dr. Moon when it came to the patient.

"It's fine." The blonde had returned the bow as awkward as it may have been and another bout of silence overtook the operating room. 

The surgeon clasped her hands together. "Okay! I'm going to go scrub in." With that, she promptly left the room. 

Dr. Shim's head poked out from over the monitor and he mimicked the surgeon's behaviors, hands coming together in prayer. "Okay! Now let's all finally get on with our lives!" Jiyeon laughed and Wheein just shook her head in feigned disgust. 

"Yongsun-ssi, good luck with that." The nursing supervisor shot finger guns at her then gave her a few last words of support before taking her leave. "For real though. Everything will be okay." 

An hour into it and, true to Wheein's word, everything _was_ okay. The surgery was running smoothly and Yongun's anxiety diminished as her muscle memory took over. The fluidity in which she followed the surgeon's demands was a pleasant surprise especially to Jiyeon who was told to keep a close eye on the new employee. With things unfolding so well, both Dr. Shim and herself took the liberty to challenge each other to 'Clash Royale' on their mobile phones. It was their daily ritual, afterall.

Byulyi and Yongsun, on the other hand, were in a world of their own. While the other two engaged in their unprofessional activities, the surgeon and scrub nurse had _actual_ work to perform in order to finish the case. What was left were a few ties and sutures to close up the surgical site then they'd all be that much closer to a well-deserved cup of coffee. 

"Can I have a mosquito or two?" Dr. Moon absently spoke with an outreaching, gloved hand. The extended period of weightlessness in her palm had her curiously eying the scrub nurse, and she watched as the other scoured the surgical tray in a panic. It was the first time that the surgeon had actually closely examined the young female. Her movements were choppy, almost fidgety, as she searched aimlessly amongst the tools on her table. "The one that looks like a...mosquito's...nose." Byulyi added the useless description in metaphysical contemplation. _Did mosquitoes even have noses?_

"Finally," Yongsun whispered to herself as she pulled two clamps from a pile and handed them over. "Here!" Her giddy eyes had formed into half crescents over her mask like chestnut sunrises over a horizon. Byulyi let the metal clank into her hand as her body and mind stilled in astonishment. She irraddiated excitement over finding surgical supplies like they were trinkets on Christimas day. What an odd aura this woman had. Its familiarity was unsettling. The pause in action caused Yongsun to question her. "Are those not the right...?" 

"No, they're perfect." Byulyi then shook her head when she was met with nurse's uplifted eyebrow. "These are what I asked for. Sorry." She immersed herself back into her work. It was now Yongsun's turn to admire her counterpart. It took the nurse's full concentration to keep up with the surgeon's pace as she made fast work of tying the sutures in a one-handed style. The ease at which she closed the patient's skin together sparked the blonde's interest in the physician's expertise. It probably took years of practice and devotion to develop such skills. There was something about her nimble fingers that was utterly breathtaking. The motion became a method of hypnosis until, as soon as it all started, it had finished. "Okay, done. Let's wrap this up." 

Dr. Shim jumped up from his seat. "Great!" He helped Yongsun and Jiyeon to remove the drapes from the patient. Byulyi, at that point, had already stepped back and disrobed, allowing the others to do what had to be done to bring the patient to the post-anesthesia care unit. 

"Thanks for your help, everyone." She gave a general bow to the room then offered a personal good-bye to the scrub nurse herself. "I really appreciated the assistance. I apologize for earlier. When I'm in the zone, I'm in the zone." 

"Please don't worry. I understand." To an extent, Yongsun truly did. This woman had more than enough on her shoulders and she shouldn't have qualms about a simple misunderstanding. She hoped to quell those feelings with a smile despite it being hidden beneath a mask but, again, she had noticed a sudden stoppage in the surgeon's attempts to move and otherwise exit the room. The other's stare was drilling into her forehead. Her self-consciousness was in high gear until she noticed a loose strand of blonde hair waving out from under her cap and into her line of sight. _Oops._ Yongsun discarded her gloves to fix her hair.

That gave Byulyi an open opportunity to disengage herself from overthinking the entire situation. She walked away with nothing more to say. Afterall, she had an _important_ meeting to attend with the medical board regarding her employment at the hospital. It was just the excitement she was looking for after spending the entire morning on her feet. Who _didn't_ want to be interrogated by a panel of old men anyway? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *A circulating nurse works in the operating room alongside the scrub nurse. Their duties include keeping track of supplies used and handing-off supplies to the scrub nurse who is stuck in sterile attire. A circulating nurse is not fully gowned; only wears a hair cap and surgical mask during surgeries. 


	6. Drop the World

Pretending to care was never Moon Byulyi's forte. She either made room for her concerns or she didn't. Her feelings were black and white in that way. It took all of her effort to supress her obvious aversion to certain situations. Even in those cases there was no guarantee that she could mask any outward display of emotions drawn on her face. She was blood type B with a type A personality on top of it. Although this combo made her a great surgeon, it made her a horrible actress. But today of all days she was forced to put on an Oscar-winning performance if she wanted to keep her job. 

It was the cycle of life, unfortunately. People progress in school, become top of their class, then enter the workforce at the bottom of the food chain. No one _really_ cared where a person came from or what their status was before. It was no different for the administrators and old-timer physicians sitting at the conference table. Byulyi had the training. She had proved herself to be worthy of her degree and more. In fact, the people who were now scrutinizing her were the same individuals who were on their hands and knees to convince her to improve their program. The trauma surgeon had many offers after finishing her fellowship and she would've loved nothing more to remind these men of how they had _begged_ her to join their staff not too long ago. But now the tables have turned. As a new hire, she was the most junior of the attending surgeons and the youngest in the room. Their pleads had quickly changed to demands. 

"We have been doing this a long time, Dr. Moon." The chief medical officer at the head of the table had reminded her for the fifteenth time but who was counting? Certainly not Byul. "There are protocols, of course we know this, but nothing beats experience. Dr. Kim, our director of surgery, has been doing this for thirty-five years now."

"Almost forty," the white-haired general surgeon interjected, arms across his chest as he nodded proudly.

The CMO agreed as he looked over at Byulyi. "Exactly. We'd appreciate it if you understood that. Yes, you've had the latest training and that definitely accounts for _something_." His words hadn't seemed to even convince himself. "But you have to trust us. We know the best ways to run a hospital. We know the business aspects of it all. The logistics can be very fragile."

Byulyi, being the only woman in the room, knew exactly the game they were playing. _Shut up and do what you're told_. This is what it all came down to. Her female mentors had all warned her in advance. The admins would shake her down; they'd impose threats. Being young and new was one thing, but being female would only worsen the barriers to actually having a voice in medical leadership. Residency and fellowship were bad enough, but this took the fucking cake. She had spoken once in this meeting only to introduce herself and these men probably didn't expect her to say anything further. It's a shame that they didn't know the real Moon Byulyi. "I honestly couldn't care less about logistics." Her sharp tongue cut through the one-sided conversation but she reeled her words in to salvage herself. After all, the surrounding administration _did_ look like she had just slapped them each across the face. "What I mean is...you're correct. I don't know much about finance other than the simple concept of supply and demand. I'll stick to what I'm good at." She pulled at her loose scrub top to lift it higher up her chest suddenly uncomfortable at the numerous sets of eyes directly on her. 

"Which is?" The director of surgery questioned too seriously for the female physician's liking. That had to be a sick joke. 

"Emergent surgery, Dr. Kim." Oh, was she ready to throw her credentials in this old man's face. "I do believe I was hired specifically for that purpose since the trauma surgical program here is falling behind. I know your concerns. There are what? Seven level one trauma centers in South Korea? You are not one of them. That means you are losing patients to hospitals with a higher level of care. That also means you're losing business. I get it."

"Seoul National University Hospital realized your potential from the start. We needn't rehash this. Dr. Moon, we are only reinforcing the idea that we need to work together to improve our program." 

She should shut her mouth while she still had her chance but the chief medical officer's patronizing words fueled her further. "Only _I_ know what needs to be done to do so. There are standards of care. There is evidence based medicine that needs to be followed." 

"Of course."

_Of course?_ Byulyi turned to the nameless individual who had responded. "Yes, of course. So if that's the case then I'm urging that every surgeon reevaluates their practice to meet these standards." 

The chief medical officer pursed his lips then waved his hand at Dr. Kim. This prompted the surgical director to stand and dismiss the medical board. The response was immediate and Byulyi could only nervously watch as these men filed out of the room one by one until the three of them remained.

"I think it would be beneficial for you to go over our expectations of you with Dr. Kim." The CMO left without another word or even a second glance at the bow Byulyi offered in feigned respect. 

The greying man stood there in silence. Maybe he was trying to impose an air of superiority or maybe he was devising a way to approach the situation. Whatever mission he intended on accomplishing, the intimidation factor was simply not _there_. Byulyi was a traumatologist; she's had another person's blood fill her shoes to the brim. She's cracked open more chests than she could ever count all in failed efforts to revive otherwise very dead individuals. An old guy's poor attempts at getting her to bend her knee was laughable at this point in her life.

"Dr. Moon," he spoke rather grimly, "I think it would be wise if you listened more than you talked. Our administration could find your open honesty to be disrespectful although I know you mean well." He stepped closer and placed a wrinkled hand on her shoulder. "You have to understand that change is very difficult for us elders. Our training and principles are considerably different. It will take time."

It took everything within her to not shake his hand off of her. "Sometimes we don't want to hear the truth, Dr. Kim, but it needs to be said. If you hired me for my expertise in shock trauma then let me do what needs to be done." 

He nodded in agreement but his words betrayed the gesture. "You're young and full of vigor but also naivety. Things are not that simple."

"I never said they were."

The killswitch had been engaged right then as Dr. Kim's tone flipped. "Enough of this. If you really want to invoke the change you speak of then how about you present yourself as someone not so easily looked down upon." The hand that was on Byulyi's shoulder flicked its fingers at her blue scrub top. "You come to us looking like a mess. Then you dare tell us how to do our jobs."

"It's not easy to change my clothing when I just had surg—"

"Is this how you got through residency? Stop with the excuses." He continued to scrutinize her from above the rim of his glasses. "I want you to succeed, Dr. Moon, but I'm afraid you might have to address your temper first and foremost. It could be possible that you have some personal issues that you need to resolve." 

She was speechless. The turn of events had thrown her for a loop. She'd be the first to admit to her frustrations but his accusations that her attitude towards them was a result of some internal conflicts was uncalled for. Still she couldn't get a word in edgewise. "I don't think—"

"I understand it might be difficult for you. Are you married?" The lack of an answer and blank stare confirmed it enough for him. "I couldn't possibly know how it feels for you as a woman. Regardless you must put your personal feelings aside, Dr. Moon. To go against your nature and to give up your chance to have a family of your own must be disheartening. Really. You have my sincere sympathy. But as a surgeon, you are the most respected out of all the physician disciplines. Your role as a leader outweighs anyone else's. There are no time for regrets in your choice of profession. The reality of this situation is that you _will_ do what is necessary. You _will_ work in the best interests of this department and this hospital. Do I make myself clear?" Byulyi, a person whose self-worth was built completely on her witty remarks and composed demeanor, wordlessly nodded. Maybe, just maybe there was a quiver in her lower lip. "Good. And one more thing to address. Today is morbidity and mortalility rounds. You'll be presenting your cases, I hope." 

"My cases?" She managed to croak out in disbelief. No longer was she a resident nor was she a fellow. She was an attending physician and by no means should she be presenting at M&M. This was one of the many responsibilites of physicians _in training_ and now another blow to her ego. It seemed the top got higher the more that she climbed.

"Yes, I think it would be best if we evaluate your presentation skills in this way, " Dr. Kim affirmed. "I have nothing more to say to you now. Please, go first." 

The goal to embarrass the female doctor had utterly failed as she clambered her way out of the room. Instead the board meeting had awoken a rage that she had neatly tucked away in the far corners of her brain. Never did she think that a group of old, shriveled men would be the skeleton key to unlock its full potential. But here she was now storming down the hospital corridor. The obscenities rained from her lips and her mind mulled over the seemingly absurd comments. A woman? She was sure of it. Marriageless? Yes. Childless? Super, fucking yes. These, however, did not contribute to her disobedient behavior nor did becoming a surgeon ever stop her from finding the 'one for her'. That was an entirely different issue that just added tinder to the fire burning out of control.

"Where is Dr. Jeon?" She didn't care to stop the surgical library door from slamming against the wall as it opened. The entire room of resident physicians turned to her in shock. "Where is Jungkook?!" The anger had pooled over when no one had answered fast enough for her liking but soon she had her sights set on her target. The poor soul poked his head out from behind his computer. 

"Yes, ma'am?" He immediately stood and bowed. 

"You're on trauma this week, right? Give me the M&M presentation file." The response, again, came too slowly. "Now!" She was about to pick the world up and drop it on someone's fucking head. 

x-x-x

Morbidity and mortality rounds were a thorn in the medical world's side but a necessary evil devised as an opportunity to reflect on and learn from mistakes. Consequences of errors in patient care range from minor mishaps that delay discharge from the hospital to full demise and death. Every single one _should_ be addressed so that future patients may never experience a negative result. It's an idealistic concept in a less than ideal world. In the formal definition surgical M&M was usually an exclusive meeting amongst attending surgeons as their resident juniors presented patient statistics organized in a crappy PowerPoint precariously created the night prior; a select few cases are then presented with the intent to promote discussion on what methods could have been improved. In reality, surgical M&M was a three ring circus that allowed attending physicians to give an unnecessary lashing to their residents and demean them in front of their colleagues. It was part of the circle of life of hazing in the medical world. To some it was entertainment to look forward to. Medicine had progressed enough to allow these 'events' to be open to other disciplines. Nurses, respiratory therapists, and technologists were welcomed to attend though many of these sane healthcare employees chose to spend their freetime on something other than physician cockfighting. Lunch was exciting enough for them.

Wheein had explained this in full to Yongsun when the blonde had inquired about a piece of paper titled 'M and M Rounds' taped to one of the hospital auditorium's doors. It presented itself as a chance for her to expand her knowledge base but that was shot down once her nursing supervisor caught wind of it. Still, Yongsun thought, she should go at least once to tell herself she tried. That's how and why she found herself sitting amongst a group of people in long white coats. The audience was completely segregated. One side of the auditorium sat a dozen or so young men and women on the verge of falling asleep while across the way was a bunch of stoned-face old men each with their arms folded over their chests. Jesus Christ. Maybe Wheein _was_ right. But it was too late to up and leave now when the presentation was already underway starting with the soft voice of a young intern. Only two minutes in and a short-tempered man,supposedly named Dr. Kim, interrupted from his seat. 

It all went downhill from there and Yongsun couldn't bear to watch. She had spent a majority of her time with her face buried in her hand, only peeking between her spread fingers when a presenter mentioned something remotely interesting. The fifth resident was just finishing when she reevaluated her ever-convenient position smack dab in the middle of the left front row. She had about thirty seconds to plan her escape. The far back exit, next to the table with an industrial coffee urn, was her prime option and the most direct way to her freedom—"Dr. Jeon. Second year." The residency program director announced the next to go. _Oh, shit. Too late._ Yongsun sunk into her chair and ruffled her hair out of its high ponytail. This was going to be way longer than she expected. 

The same short-tempered man from before again chimed in. "Dr. Moon will be presenting in his stead." The name got her attention and she sat back up to watch as the familiar profile of a petite woman emerged from the side of the stage. Albeit it was out of the ordinary that an attending would choose to participate, Yongsun's interest peaked with the intention to take full advantage of listening to an expert in the field. Finally something good would come out of this. These musings would be short-lived, however, as the blonde used this opportune moment to examine the trauma surgeon's physicial traits in full. When Dr. Moon's head emerged above the podium Yongsun first noticed the intensity in which the woman stared at the older generation of physicians seated to the side. Her eyes, even from afar, were beacons of an unexplainable intelligent aptitude that the nurse had immediately recognized upon their initial meeting. But something else had been added. Although little was said between them earlier this morning, Yongsun had busied herself during their first surgical procedure together with overanalyzing the other. The normally harmless energetic gaze was polished over with malevolence. Her analysis would have gone further but it ended when she saw the features of the surgeon's face. Exposed, bared, and exuding a familiarity that made Yongsun's skin crawl. The realization fell on her when the surgeon finally spoke through her unmasked lips.

"Hello. I'm Dr. Moon, chief of trauma. Today I have the _pleasure_ of running a case through with you. I will be doing it rather quickly as to not bore you." The spectators had mistakenly interpreted her indignant spite as a well timed joke and laughed along but to Yongsun this was far from funny. Here before her stood the subject of her one night stand and she was stuck, front and center, in her line of sight. She dropped her face into her hands yet again. The very audible 'fuck' that was hardly suppressed by her palm had the young doctor sitting beside her directing his attention right at her. 

"Are you...okay?" 

"Don't look at me," she hissed without any regrets. It was unlike her but she found herself in an unlikely position. The only choice was self-preservation and, despite her mental chants of 'this cannot be happening', this situation was very much happening. She sank even lower in her chair. The black hole she hoped would open up right beneath her never came, and she knew she'd have to be more proactive to make her escape. 

"...a 75-year-old female with a past medical history..." Yongsun squeezed her eyes shut when the voice echoing from the speakers hit her ears. It was the same voice coming from the same mouth that gave her an immense amount of pleasure just weeks before. This was all Hyejin's fault, she thought. Fuck being exciting. Fuck thinking outside-the-box. Normalcy was the only thing she ever dreamed of but, because of the urging of her stupid friend, she was trapped in a nightmare. "Post-operative day two and the patient was found to have wound dehiscence at the surgical site most likely secondary to a seroma..."

Dr. Kim caused pause to the presentation which gave Yongsun a moment to breathe through her anxiety. "Dr. Moon, would you please indicate the area of concern. It's not clear in the photos." 

The scrub nurse swore she heard the trauma surgeon growl out her reply. "Most certainly, Dr. Kim. Is there a laser pointer somewhere?" To Yongsun's horror, the man who she had essentially told to mind his own business raised his hand right next to her. "Ah, Dr Jeon. Thank you." Byulyi smoothed down her black slacks before reaching down to grab the pointer. 

Their eyes met. 

It took place in the slowest of motions and the second in which it happened felt like an eternity but then nothing occurred thereafter. It was anticlimactic in a way yet still gave Yongsun some momentary relief. She begun to theorize that the other didn't recognize her. Perhaps they had the alcohol to thank for that. Dr. Moon returned to her original position and carried on. "Right here along the lateral portion of the thigh. This could have been prevented by the introduction of a wound vac." There was a short delay before Byulyi continued the explanation. "As we know there is an exponential decrease in surgical wound healing when a seroma develops." Again, another hesitation, but this time longer. It was as if she had forgotten her train of thought and the presenter was struggling to find the right words. To anyone else watching, it seemed she was ill-prepared in public speaking. But Yongsun saw it no matter how subtle it may have been: the trauma surgeon's pupils were cast off in her direction. Dr. Moon was distracted and rightfully so. 

Yongsun's mind aborted as she let out another, "Fuck." 


	7. [M] Everything to Everyone

It was total bullshit that she was even doing this. Discussing the poor outcomes of an orthopedic surgery that _she_ never performed discredited her ability as a surgeon. Yes, it was technically a patient she was responsible for rounding on but the procedure to fix the fractured hip itself was done by an orthopedist. Furthermore, inspecting the surgical site for complications post-operatively was the duty of her residents. She thought she couldn't get any more angrier with the situation. That was until she heard the infuriating interruption of the one and only Dr. Kim. 

"Dr. Moon, would you please indicate the area of concern. It's not clear in the photos." 

She ground her teeth and almost barked her response. "Most certainly, Dr. Kim. Is there a laser pointer somewhere?" If she could have any superpower in the world it would be to strangle this man from 15 meters away. Instead she momentarily traded in her medical degree for one for acting and approached Dr. Jeon who had offered up the device. Her smile was strained but still it was a peace offering for the second year she had berated in the surgical library. "Ah, Dr. Jeon. Thank you."

While she was at it, she decided to share the love with the young woman adjacent to him. She looked as if she was having an awful day of her own. Face hidden in her delicate hands, shoulders slumped like she had been pounded into submission. Poor girl, Byulyi contemplated, she must be terrified of presenting. The surgeon extended her forced smile to her when their eyes met expecting the blonde's fear to dissipate from the gesture. It didn't. The pit of despair that she looked to be in seemed to deepen in that instant and Byulyi didn't quite understand why. The trauma surgeon, though perplexed, stood back behind the podium to continue where she had left off. 

"Right here along the lateral portion of the thigh." She gave the crowd a once over with the sole purpose of catching a glimpse of the peculiar blonde. "This could have been prevented by the introduction of a wound vac." Yep. Still there in her seat. Still silently bugging out. What was her problem? Byulyi was tempted to notify the residency program director of this woman's psychological deterioration. "As we know there is an exponential decrease in surgical wound healing when a seroma develops."

The air that left her lungs after that statement never seemed to return. Her breath had hitched in her chest. The confusion was made clear when a mental picture was constructed out of nowhere. It had been carefully pieced together with the finest strands of yellow silk for hair and mahogany for eyes. From the bottom of her subconscious she heard a cute laugh between endless chatter and many, many moans. A cold sweat beaded at her forehead and, once more, she took an unnatural pause to seek out the woman who she realized had been haunting her dreams for the entirety of this month. 

If there was a god he wouldn't be so cruel as to put her in this sort of situation. A shitty day couldn't possibly get any shittier and no deity in their right mind would allow this to happen under any circumstances. Their timelines should've never aligned in this way. Daegu. It was in Daegu. That night had occurred three hours away from here, almost three hundred kilometers in distance. But how could the target of her innermost sexual desires and hopes be in the very same room as her now within an arm's length. It didn't seem to be statistically possible.

"Dr. Moon?" The director of surgery called out to her in question. Even the crotchety Dr. Kim knew something was terribly off. "Are you going to continue?"

Byulyi had been paralyzed. On stage she was a specimen probably better suited for a psychiatric presentation. God knows she would've been a great example for catatonia. Her only saving grace was the same willpower that got her through the terrors of residency. It gave her just enough 'oomph' to speak up. "I am really sorry about that." She let out the most unconvincing of laughs and wagged her finger at the audience. "This is what happens when you don't eat or drink for twenty-four hours straight. Let that be a lesson to you all." The red dot from the laser pointer aimed wildly at the anatomical leg on the screen. "That goes for your patients too. Don't starve them. The body has to eat." Every human in that room found her display unamusing but Byul gave not one iota of a fuck in that moment. Whatever she was going on about was much better than her facing the fact that she had tasted this woman's lovely vagina in the front row.

Wait. The surgeon searched each seat for her face. There was no sign of the mysterious blonde and what was left was an empty chair between Dr. Jeon and the annoying intern whose name eluded her. Perhaps she had imagined her but that was highly unlikely since the last mind-altering drug Byul had tried was in her senior year of college. She knew trips and this was no trip. This was a fucking nightmare in the form of a blonde resident physician. The only way out of this was to find her. It was strange enough to her that she had never met the young doctor as of yet, but she knew she'd have to run into her eventually.

x-x-x

The rest of M&M rounds weren't in the least bit as shocking as Byulyi's segment and, honestly, Dr. Kim was more concerned than anything. He had approached her without hesitation and brought forth his consolations. The elder was convinced that his scoldings had led to some type of malfunction in her brain. She assured him that the mishap was all due to a distracting _hunger_ that needed to be addressed prior to performing her upcoming surgery in the next hour. He ardently agreed then added some bullshit about women being more sensitive to these sorts of things. Her guardian angel, who had been MIA this whole day, finally chose this moment to show themselves. The pager clipped to her front pocket had gone off and she flung a silent hallelujah to the heavens. Byulyi, in her haste to leave, turned in one motion and whispered 'you old asshole' as she sped away to the elevator to the operating room suites. There were more important matters to attend to than pretty blondes and greying men such as a trauma patient with _actual_ life-altering issues. 

The emergent surgical intervention for a restrained male driver in a motor vehicle accident was going as expected. He initially came to the emergency department hypotensive, abdomen distended and seatbelt mark across the skin. It was easy to tell, by any good clinician's judgement, that this guy had a belly full of blood. Byulyi's duty was to find out exactly _where_ this blood was coming from and act accordingly. It was a simple concept really. If there was bleeding, stop it. The only thing she needed was the proper tools to do so and that's where the rest of the surgical team came in.

She had Jiyeon, a little spacey but efficient in her means. She made for a much better circulating nurse than a scrub nurse. Before she switched roles it was a frustrating battle between them that led to the surgeon's complaints for someone to take her place. It seemed things worked out. There was Dr. Shim who was often assigned to her cases as he was the only anesthesiologist willing to deal with Byulyi's hard headed demands. More accurately, he was all-around oblivious but that's an attribute he and her both sometimes shared. Then came the newcomer, Yongsun. This was only their second case together but the surgeon could tell she had a good head on her shoulders. What impressed her most was that she gave her what she _needed_ and not what she asked for _._ That was every surgeon's dream: a scrub nurse who read his or her mind. It made cases like these run without a hitch even when something unexpected came up which usually always occurred in trauma.

The same thing happened in this unfortunate man's instance. Dr. Moon had expected a lacerated spleen as was shown on the CT scan but she was met with that and much more. The liver was dinged pretty badly. He also had a few holes in his diaphragm just above the spleen where his own bowel seemed to be travelling upwards into his chest cavity. Who wanted their small intestines lounging with their lungs? Certainly not this guy. It was an awful scenario that she wouldn't wish on anyone. 

But ironically, this is where she found her peace. The outside world and her personal problems were momentarily forgotten. The operating room was her theater, surgery her art. She was a conductor of a symphony that, with one wrong move, could cost someone their life. She'd never say she had divine powers but if there was a role that a surgeon played best it would definitely be god. It was organized chaos. The expert hands that clamped and tied off the uncontrolled bleeding of an artery were the same hands pulling back the hammer on the revolver in Russian roulette. Byulyi was the hero that could save a person but, like a double edged sword, she could easily be the villain that didn't do _enough_. It was a gut-churning gamble yet an addiction she'd never give up. That's why underneath her mask she always wore a smile even as she dug through meters of bowel with her own breath fogging up her face shield and as sweat profusely built between her skin and layers of cloth. The uncomfortable was what made her most comforted. It's what was beaten into her brain throughout training. Life isn't easy. It will never be easy. It shouldn't be easy and she should be strong enough to face it all head-on. Little did she know that those principles were pillars all built on sand.

Satisfied with the work she and the resident had performed, she looked across at Dr. Jeon. "I think we're set here." The spleen was gone, the diaphragm was repaired, and there was not much to do with the liver other than cauterization.

"Okay." His one-worded response did a poor job covering his excitement. Byulyi had recognized that glow; she was sure she had the same expression when she was in her residency. Dr. Jeon had held onto this patient's bowel like he was holding a trophy. A little odd but she fully respected his gung-ho nature. Good surgeons never got bored with seeing the inside of another person's body. If they did, that means they think they've seen everything which makes for a very dangerous physician. 

"Will you let him close?" Dr. Shim jeered from over the draping. 

She shook her head. "We can do it together. Start from that end." This is how Byulyi was. She _wanted_ to do things herself that way she knew for sure it was all done right. The second-year resident didn't protest. He'd take what crumbs he was offered. 

"Can we both have Vicryls, Yongsun-ssi?" She diverted her attention from the freshly filleted abdomen to the scrub nurse and instantly she could tell the other was somewhere else all together. "Yongsun-ssi?" The young woman appeared to be in a trance. Dr. Jeon, who was standing beside her, lightly bumped her arm with his own. 

Yongsun had been resurrected into a flurry of questions. "Huh? What? Excuse me?" 

"Sutures. We both need some sutures." Dr. Jeon repeated the attending surgeon's request. He sounded a little peeved probably since her mental absence delayed him from showing off his 'skills' to his superior.

Byulyi didn't quite care for her resident's annoyance. Though most surgeons had an impatient aura to them she separated herself from her colleagues with a collected disposition. If there was something _wrong_ with her scrub nurse, she needed to know. Last thing anyone wanted was for her to faint and face plant into a sterile surgical site. "Yongsun-ssi. Can you finish or do you need someone to take over?" Her concern was genuine, and she hoped the young physician witnessing her behavior could learn something from her. Empathize. Communicate. A surgeon had a duty to fulfill to not just the patient but to her teammates as well. 

"I'm really fine. I promise." The scrub nurse loaded two needle drivers and firstly handed one off to the hasty second-year before placing the instrument into the lead surgeon's palm. Their gloved hands lingered. Their eye contact persisted and the observant surgeon challenged herself to interpret the other. Perhaps the scrub nurse seemed _off_ from the start of the surgery. Byulyi had chalked it up to nerves since this was Yongsun's first emergent surgery but now it seemed to go deeper than just that. She detected a small tremble in her hand and the same sensation could be seen in the shifting of her eyes. It was absolute fear. But of what? Byulyi slowly retracted her hand and side-eyed Dr. Jeon who was already making himself busy with suturing the open wound. _Not him_. It wouldn't make sense to be afraid of a lowly resident. And it certainly made no sense to be frightened during this procedure at this point in time. Everything went perfectly. 

Half way into closing the midline incision down the patient's abdomen, she chanced another glance at Yongsun. The stare was still there and the fear ever-present, all directed at _her._ A few frizzy blonde tufts escaped her hair cap to frame her eyes. _Those eyes._ Byulyi's composure had drained from her face as did all the color. A loud metal clatter broke the silent ambiance of the operating room as her instrument slipped out of her once sure-handed grip and onto the floor. Byulyi backed away from the surgical table. The surgeon knew. And Yongsun's subsequent audible gulp confirmed that the scrub nurse knew she knew. 

"Dr. Moon?" Dr. Jeon had stopped right when he heard the needle driver hit the ground.

The anesthesiologist was quick to pop his head back up over the blue drape. "What's up?" With what he saw he called out for the circulating nurse. "Hey, Jiyeon! Get a chair!" Suddenly there was scrambling as Dr. Shim came around to support the surgeon at the back while Jiyeon slid a stool behind her. "Sit." 

Byulyi did as she was told for about five seconds before standing back up. "I'm fine. I need to just..." She didn't know what she needed. Flight or fight, right? The first thing on her mind was to run far, far away from here and so she did. "Dr. Jeon, take care of the rest for me." She tore away her surgical gown and gloves and left the quartet in the operating room. 

The only safe haven she could find was the physician lounge. Save for the few attendings briefly entering and leaving, it gave her just enough privacy to rewind on this day from hell. The medical board needed her but that didn't necessarily mean that they _wanted_ her. She was a foreign invader into their boys' club and the meeting today revealed that she had intentions to shake it all up. She was on thin ice already. But now there was the added predicament of working closely with a _woman_ she _fucked._ Not only would she be finished here if anyone else found out, there was a possibility that her entire livelihood could be demolished. What other hospital would hire a young female surgeon with a tarnished reputation? "Fuck!" To make matters worse, the scrub nurse had already caused her to do something unprecedented. She just abandoned her patient on the operating table about an hour ago and canceled her elective surgery that was scheduled after M&M rounds. This had to be dealt with immediately. As she rattled off a few ideas in her head, she spotted an instant solution in the view through the window to the parking lot. There was a figure exiting the lobby. They were wearing casual street clothes, jeans and a T-shirt, but Byulyi could recognize that blonde hair anywhere now.

Kim Yongsun. 

The sprint from inside the hospital onto the pavement hadn't affected her in the least. The adrenaline fueled her legs, her mind, and her mouth. "Kim Yongsun! Stop!" She had reached her just as the blonde had opened her driver side door and sat inside. At the last second she stopped her from closing the door. "We need to talk."

Yongsun looked to be contemplating something before she spoke up. "I think maybe another time." In reality the blonde was trying not to break down in front of the other woman. She needed to have some control in this situation so she attempted to shut the door. 

"No. Now." Byulyi yanked it back open. The pressure to fix this horrible problem was raining down on her now. Desperation turned to an unsolicited rage. "This needs to be addressed. I'm coming in." The surgeon barreled her way around the front of the car into the front passenger seat. Leaning over the console she jabbed a finger at Yongsun. "What do you think you're doing?" 

"What do you think _I'm_ doing? What gives you the right to come into my car—"

"Shut up!" She slammed her fist down onto Yongsun's leather headrest. The older woman jumped. "Why are you here? What do you want from me?" 

"W-what are you talking about?! I work here!" She was pleading as if a gun was held to her head, "Just leave me alone!" 

The paranoia wouldn't allow Byulyi to let up and her voice dropped to a ragged whisper. "We were in Daegu." Her nose almost touched Yongsun's cheek which made the other's grip white-knuckled on the steering wheel. " _Why_ are you _here_?"

Her answer didn't change. "I work here." She quickly clarified, "I had plans to move here way before I ever met you!" 

"Listen," Byulyi became eerily monotonous as she grabbed the blonde's chin to force her to look at her, "if you ever, _ever_ tell anyone about this I will ruin your life." The blonde's heart was in her throat, and she clenched her teeth to stop the acid rising up from her stomach. "Don't you dare think I will let someone like _you_ get in my way." 

As abruptly as it had all started, it was over. Byulyi had stalked off back to the hospital, white coat blowing in the wind, while Yongsun was left to manage the swell of emotions. But she couldn't do it alone. She had regathered herself just enough to make a phone call to the only person she knew was crazy enough to understand. "H-Hyejin." 

"Unnie? What's wrong?" Luckily the busy physician was in between patients and, even if she was in the middle of patient care, Hyejin would do everything in her power to take a call like this. It was unlike Yongsun to do this in the middle of a work week. She was so thankful that she didn't decide on ignoring the vibrations in her coat pocket when on the other line she heard the muffled cries of her older friend. "Unnie?!" Her eyebrows were knitted together in confusion and shock. "What do you mean _quit_? Why would you quit?! I thought you loved it?" Hyejin stood at the end of the hallway to be out of earshot. The farfetched explanation that Yongsun gave her didn't jive with the doctor. She was lying and why would she be lying to _her_ of all people? "Yongsun-unnie, what's really going on?" Now of all times she hated being three hours away from her best friend.

"My boss..." Byulyi wasn't really her boss, per se, but it was the easiest way to describe her once her ugly crying had subsided. "I _know_ them." 

"Okay?" Hyejin knew she was getting at something and gave her the time to choose her words. 

"...I slept with them..." 

"Oh. _Ohhhhh._ " Even the sexually immoral Hyejin got dizzy at that confession. "Once or?" 

Yongsun sighed, her breath fogging up her car window. "It was just once but I didn't know she'd be the doctor I work with!" 

The slip gave her friend the right amount of information to piece it all together rather easily. " _She'd?_ " There was only one person she knew of who fit the pronoun. "Are you telling me the woman in your lesbian sexcapade is the surgeon you scrub in with?!" She thought Yongsun's one night stand was juicy enough without this additional turn of events. 

"Yes and I'm screwed!" 

"Stop it." Hyejin rolled her eyes but it became clear that Yongsun wasn't just being dramatic when she heard her voice crack in despair. 

"I...I'm being serious. She threatened to...I don't know. If anyone finds out I'm really screwed, Hyejin-ah." 

The quick-tempered woman propelled her thoughts right away. "Fuck her." Obviously Hyejin wasn't speaking in the literal sense but the blonde required some clarification.

"What?" 

"Just fuck her. Forget what she said and do what you want. She thinks she's the only one who needs to worry? She can go fuck herself." It was starting to become hard for Hyejin to keep her voice down in the hallway. She was always explosive when it came to people she felt passionately for. "Just continue doing your job, Yongsun-unnie, regardless. Or, if you feel that badly, just move on and do what you have to do."

Yongsun wiped remnants of tears from her cheeks. Hyejin always managed to make her feel better even when she was playing the part of a total badass. "You think I should tell anyone?" She heard the other clicking her tongue as she pondered some good advice. 

"If it gets worse, yeah. But maybe keep it vague so you don't expose yourself. Just say she's being inappropriate. I don't know." Hyejin sighed. "Wow." 

"What?" 

"If I ever have the pleasure of meeting this bitch, I will slap her right across her fucking face." 

Yongsun laughed at that. There was something about Hyejin that was innately _good_ , no matter how violent she presented herself, and the blonde could never explain it even to save her own life. "Don't worry I'll take care of it." 

Hyejin hummed her approval. "That's my girl. Will you call me tonight?" 

"Of course." Always thinking about others. That was the Hyejin she knew so well. "I love you." 

"Oh God!!" The mock scoff came from a brilliantly smiling mouth. "You've been turned. Haven't you?" She bit the bullet then muttered, "I love you too...bye!" 

The good-natured conversation ended and it was replaced with a silence that allowed time for thinking. That was awfully dangerous for Yongsun. She reflected on her best friend's advice and made the simple mistake of acting on it right away. Her obsession to dig into the monster known as Dr. Moon had her searching on the internet. She had discovered Moon Byulyi as her full name. There was evidence of her training, certifications, and a professional profile even uncovered her age. The surgeon was _younger_ than her. Her junior in age yet infuriatingly disrespectful. _Oh, this girl_. This was the final straw that flipped her whimpers to growls. Leaving her car behind, she rushed herself back to the scene of the crime. She began at the operating room and asked around. A few shakes of the heads of her OR colleagues led her to the resident's surgical library. It was their private space to review charts but she knew they'd have the information she needed. 

"Dr. Jeon!" Half excited, half irate Yongsun interrupted the physician currently signing out his patients to the night crew. 

"Uh, Yongsun-ssi?" He should be annoyed with her barging in but her disheveled appearance took him by surprise. "How can I help you?" 

"It's an emergency," she lied, "I need to speak with Dr. Moon." He didn't argue with her and directed her to the on-call room down the hallway. 

x-x-x

Her head hung, loosely elevated with her hands, as her palms tried to push the tears back from whence they came. The small desk of the on-call room shook as her quiet cries overtook her body. Byulyi had no idea which way was up, which way was down. She just wanted out. Though her heart still pounded in her chest, it felt clear that her life was officially finished. Over a decade she had worked tirelessly to get to where she was now and a stupid night out ended up being the worst decision. That night she had finally mustered the courage to do what she did. In the moment it felt _right_ and it felt _pure_ although the actions she performed on the other woman were far from it. The brevity of their intimacy was what made it a treasure, and now every fiber of her being was trying to forget it. 

Her reputation with the medical board, her career, her relationship with her parents and family were all at risk because of _one fucking night_. There was no guarantee that Yongsun would actually heed her concerns. By the next day the whole hospital and medical system could know. Should she just come forth and be honest now with her mother? If she was going to find out she would rather it be directly from her. She picked up her phone and cradled it; the black screen reflected her distraught expression. Perhaps she had finally fallen to the pressure of being everything to everyone. 

"Moon Byulyi!"

The ferocity in which the door to the on-call room was hurled open had the surgeon standing upright, the wooden chair knocked over to the side. The shout shook her to the core yet she was ready for the verbal whipping coming her way. Byulyi should've been surprised but she somehow always knew there was this side to Yongsun ready to be awakened. There was no fight left in her anyway. 

"If you fucking think for one second I'm going to let a punk like you—," Yongsun's brutality was dampered when the afflicted surgeon came into full view. She looked beyond pitiful like a lost kid playing doctor in an oversized white coat drowning her small body. It was strange. The blonde was fuming but now a new emotion of sympathy was added to the mix, and she never predicted that the result of such a concoction was an uncontrollable lust. She hardly made an attempt to hold back the wicked thoughts. 

' _Just fuck her.'_ Her friend's words echoed in her head but this time with an entirely different meaning. 

They came together in the most ungraceful of ways but Yongsun just needed to be _on_ her or _under_ her. It didn't matter how. She tore at her white coat, that ridiculous symbol of a higher purpose, and bit the skin at the crook of her neck. She'd make her feel good, yes, but she also planned to make her suffer. Badly. Her teeth sank deeper as Byulyi protested and the surgeon yanked the other's head back by a handful of her blonde hair. "Damn it! What the hell is wrong with you?" Byulyi chastised without expecting a response. They pushed and pulled as the brunette fought for physical dominance while the blonde favored a psychological approach. Pulling up her black tee and bra she gave Byulyi a sneak peek of what she _could_ have. That drove the other wild. 

Before the brunette could do anything to those beautifully exposed breasts Yongsun was on her knees shoving her balled up fist into Byulyi's abdomen to sit her back on the desk. She would've complained about the assault but she quickly shut up as she realized the blonde was eager to _gift_ her something wonderful. Her scrub pants and underwear were slid down her legs and out of the way to make room for her hot tongue. There was no chance for an adjustment to the intrusion. The only rational notion left in her mind was that the door was completely unlocked, but Byulyi couldn't have cared less. She discarded her worries to pay better attention to the tongue fucking her senseless. _In and out. Up and down._ Around her clit Yongsun's tongue aggressively circled, sometimes teasingly and sometimes with the full intention to stimulate her to the edge of her arousal. 

"Holy shit. Holy shit." Her hands had no idea where to grab as the blonde head between her thighs bobbed relentlessly. From the desk to her own face, she finally decided on settling her dominant hand into Yongsun's hair to encourage her. It wasn't fair. She was up against the worst odds. A gorgeous woman with an amazing mouth making her toes curl in her shoes was too hard to resist. That's exactly what she should be doing now, resisting, but what better way was there to release pent up frustration than a mind blowing orgasm. Byulyi convinced herself this as her thighs fastened themselves around the other's head. 

The climax was so fucking good that she only realized the sensitivity of her clit after her body had stopped shaking and Yongsun had pulled away. As the blonde wiped at her face, the surgeon had to clean the drool from the corners of her own mouth. It was beyond satisfying, and she could've easily finished things off this way. But the fire to continue was rekindled simply with one look at the woman on her knees. Hair tousled and tits very much on display. 

The small wooden desk wobbled under the sudden weight of Yongsun's body. The blonde's jeans were tossed to the side and her underwear was off her ankles in a blink of an eye. The surgeon, though essentially the same height as Yongsun, towered over her from between her legs. Her hand maneuvered up between the slopes of her breasts and rested at her neck where she tightened her grasp. The chokehold slammed Yongsun's head down onto the desktop. She saw stars, from a concussion or the excitement, she wasn't too sure but she didn't quite care. Her wet pussy had enough of this foreplay, and she grappled the other's wrist to snake it down towards the area of interest. "Just fuck me already." 

Byulyi had surmised that was enough forewarning for her and slipped her middle finger into a more-than-willing Yongsun's center. It was never gentle to begin with. The momentum of her thrusts far into her body had the blonde crying out with each subsequent motion and it was music to Byulyi's ears. She choked her harder, added another finger, and then fucked her harder. The cramping of her wrist was futile to stop her from curling her digits further as there was nothing better than witnessing the goddess beneath her writhe to match her tempo. 

They couldn't look away, and their lips hovered just a mere centimeter away from each other. Neither, however, was willing to close that distance. Fucking would be enough for today despite how their noses brushed over one another time and time again. Yongsun even turned her head to the side to avoid anything further but Byulyi's soft lips on her neck added an electricity that had her pussy clenching around her fingers. _"Oh..!"_ She did not predict that happening. 

"You feel good." It was one of the only things that the surgeon had said throughout this whole session but it did wonders to Yongsun's most intimate of areas. If possible she was slicker and tighter and clutched her arms around Byulyi's neck to hide herself closer. 

The impending release was obvious in the unruly intonation of her question. "H-how good?"

"So fucking good, _baby_." Whether or not she was intentionally taunting Yongsun right into her ear didn't matter to her. The result would be the same either way: her scratching at Byulyi's shoulders as she came undone louder than intended. She promised herself she wouldn't give this bitch the satisfaction of letting her hear her moans of submission but that didn't exactly work out the way she planned. That would be a mental note for later as she was currently busy shouting her praises towards the ceiling. 

The high only lasted so long for them both since as soon as they had came they had come to their senses. The wall was battered and bruised from the insistent knocking of the wooden desk on the white paint. The tiny on-call room smelt like sex, sweat, and, if they tried hard enough, regret. Face to face and chest to chest they expressed their panic in unison. "Shit!" 


	8. [M] Schism

The peak of summer came and went. The bright and pleasant days were just a sunny until an overbearing mugginess had intruded on the perfect weather. But that was what was expected of mid-August: a sweltering heat and humidity that were completely intolerable. It was no coincedence that the incidence of traumas increased during this time. People already hated each other enough without the additional factor of disgusting sweat dripping down their necks and backs. Thus, Seoul National University Hospital had a lovely accumulation of men stabbing men, men strangling women, women smacking both men and women, everyone shooting everybody, and road ragers playing bumper cars with oversized trucks.

It happened this way every single year without fail and it was a big ol' paycheck in the eyes of hospital administrators. Treating trauma patients cost way more money than treating patients with pneumonia, diabetes, and heart attacks. Trauma was an easy way to make quick money but a terrible pain in the ass for the ones actually caring for these patients. Just like that, Moon Byulyi's already difficult life became that more difficult. There was little time for complaining as she only had her self to blame. She signed up for this crap a long time ago, and there was no going back now. Not that she had regrets. She absolutely _loved_ what she did. A multi-trauma patient on the path to acute demise really got her blood pumping but she despised the monotony of documentation, insurance, and medical legal. More patients meant more notes and more non-trauma issues to deal with. That was not her forte. 

The frustration was building and her threshold for bullshit was at an all time low. Her and her team were already four cases deep today, all emergent in their own way, and she would've been _herself_ if it wasn't for her not being _herself_ for the past month and a half. The cause of her distress, of course, had been ever-present right across the operating table from her. Drop dead gorgeous—even under that baggy gown, handing her all the right tools, and not making a single mistake. Essentially the busy day was running as smoothly as it could due to Yongsun's dependability and that, ironically, pissed off the surgeon further. She had a right to her anger yet this overly helpful nuisance wasn't giving her the satisfaction. She guessed she would have to make do with the situation that was handed to her. 

"I asked for a twenty blade!" Lie. Her first of many for the day, all an excuse to throw a tantrum for the sake of it. She reached over and banged the surgical knife back down onto Yongsun's metal tray. "Pay attention, will you?!" Certainly the blonde was paying plenty attention to the young surgeon; the source of all her life's current problems was pretty hard _not_ to pay attention to. That's how Yongsun knew she was wrong. 

"I am. You just have no idea what you want anymore." No one, not even the free-spoken Dr. Shim, expected the snarky reply. The chief resident assisting Dr. Moon stilled in his spot and Jiyeon pretended she was busy inspecting the suction cannister on the far wall when she was far from doing just that. It was like everything had come to a head all at once, and it was exactly what Byulyi needed most in that moment. 

"Really? Would you like to suggest what to do next, _Dr._ Kim?" There was no answer from the scrub nurse in that regard. Yongsun wanted, more than anything, to continue this feud but she knew better than to act so loosely when other professionals were bearing witness to her behavior. "Huh? What was that?" The surgeon leaned over the patient to ridicule the silent nurse. Though Yongsun held her tongue, the fire in her eyes was evident and equally matched that of Byulyi's yet no one else but the attending surgeon was close enough to see. What the others were experiencing was a one-sided mockery that bordered on harassment. 

Dr. Shim slowly started up his suggestion, astonished at his colleague's conduct, "Dr. Moon...let's get back to business." Never in his time of working with her has he seen this side. Yes, she could be stubborn in her ways but she always portrayed forbearance. He was sure if he removed her surgical mask right now the Dr. Moon he knew would be replaced with an entirely different face. It actually scared him. Little did he know that his concerns only added to Byulyi's hysteria. 

" _Business_ _?!_ " Byulyi grabbed for a random clamp from the scrub nurse's tray and pointed it at the anesthesiologist. "This is far from a business transaction. Any of this!" She referred to Yongsun, waving her empty hand between the space that divided her and the blonde. 

"That's not—"

She had turned now to face him head-on and came one step closer. "What are you trying to suggest, Dr. Shim?" The metal instrument was still aimed like a dagger towards him. "Well?" 

The physician really had nothing to say to that and ardently shook his head. Her question was wasted on him as he had no idea down which path she had just gone. His one and only focus was the patient whose surgery was being delayed. An anesthesiologist had a few things to keep track of during a procedure and the total time in which a person was under general anesthesia was one of the them. The greater the length, the greater the risk of death. For the sake of the patient, he sat back down and went back to monitoring the poor woman's vitals. 

"Anyone else have anything to fucking add?" Byulyi had expected the argument to end right there but when she straightened herself back to face the table she found a petite woman standing a bit too close to her for her liking. Her arms were crossed and her stare harsh. 

Wheein spoke with authority, "Yes, very much so. I would love to know what is happening here, Dr. Moon." Caught up in her self-fulfilling freak out, the surgeon hadn't realized the OR door had opened and in came the nursing supervisor. She didn't witness it all but she had seen enough to be pissed off: Jiyeon almost had her head completely down on her desk like an ostrich with its head in the sand and Yongsun had stepped back from the surgical table about two meters to avoid the fallout of a nuclear Byulyi. Protective of her fellow nurses, Wheein egged the surgeon on, "Enlighten me, please."

The venom spewing from her insincere politeness sent an unsettling ripple from Byulyi's head to her toes. She knew humiliation and she knew fear, but she never expected this little creature to envoke both to the fullest extent. It was very likely that someone like Wheein had the power to investigate her actions and intentions further. The last thing she needed was a nursing supervisor digging deeper into this situation. The surgeon's warning gaze flickered to Yongsun before she gave Wheein her full attention. "Just letting out a few frustrations of mine." 

"With that?" She gestured to the not-so-blunt metal object in her hand. 

Byulyi looked at her in exasperation. "Of course not!" She wasn't capable of murder, not yet at least. Things hadn't taken that turn. 

"I certainly hope not or we'd definitely have a problem," Wheein griped while carefully eying Jiyeon followed by Yongsun. Neither of them were willing to look her way and that made it all more troubling for her. " _Are_ there any problems here?" 

"No, everything should be—," the words got stuck in Byulyi's throat when Wheein raised her finger. 

"I wasn't talking to you. Ladies?" 

Jiyeon had gathered the confidence to stand and address her supervisor with an ever grateful bow. "We're fine. It was just a misunderstanding, I'm sure."

That would've assured Wheein in the slightest if it weren't for the forlonged distance in Yongsun's eyes. The talkative blonde was devoid of any verbal feedback. There was something held back or, maybe, something on the verge of showing itself. Perhaps _she_ held the truth behind the actuality of this situation. "Yongun-ssi?" The startled expression accompanied by her weak nod brought the nursing supervisor to the conclusion that, indeed, there was another side to this story. She decided that this was not the time to push the issue further. 

Wheein's reluctant departure allowed the surgery to continue to its end and not one person uttered a word more than what was necessary to finish. The dynamic had shifted and the once overly involved surgeon had handed off the responsibility of wheeling the patient back to post-anesthesia care unit to her chief resident. She mumbled something about having to 'tend to a few things' before disappearing down the OR hallway. With her dismissal came the open flood gates of relief and not just to Yongsun.

Jiyeon, normally unphased by any sort of pettiness, had touched the blonde's shoulder as she was leaving with the anesthesiologist and resident physician. "I'm really sorry that happened. I..." She wagged her head almost disappointedly at everything that had transpired. "I have never seen her like that. I'm sure she's just having a bad day." Her rare kindness brought Yongsun temporary solace yet it had faded seconds later. The comforting touch was gone. She stood there watching the operating doors swing back and forth as the trio escorted the patient to her destinaton. And now she was alone in that room with the whitest of walls and red wine blood spattered across the speckled floor. Suddenly she thought of Seoul. She thought of her former home and her friends who used to be only minutes away. She could be surrounded with familiarity but instead she chose to move away to chase a dream that turned out to be her worst nightmare. She was stranded and the only true remedy would be to wake the fuck up. 

However, Yongsun was fond of her beauty sleep, and often reminded herself that she was everything but a quitter. People have withstood worse. She was sure of it, so she continued her days like this would be the new norm. The yelling and the screaming became more frequent and direct. The angry stares in the breakroom when they happened to be passing by each other were their new way of saying 'hello'. Oh, and she knew those accidental arm bumps and shoulder taps were Byulyi's passive aggressive method of physical intimidation. 

Still, she wasn't a quitter. 

Yongsun always had a fix for her problems. Self-reliancy was what made her so popular amongst her friends. While she solved her own disasters she always had the power to solve everyone else's. Her finest example being Hyejin. Though she was often at her wits' end when it came to that girl, she had the mental capacity to keep a tidy home, a stable job, a loving relationship with her parents and sister, and a well put together outward appearance. This was her end all, be all in life. Look the part and play the part. Anything short of that was a failure. 

So she wasn't a quitter. 

Her car became her breakroom and her radio replaced the lively conversation of her coworkers. She had her own space, at least, and was able to avoid run-ins with the devil. Sometimes she debated driving the ten minutes it took to get to her apartment and lounge around in her pajamas for her hour break. Catching up on her dramas would be a plus, she thought as she shoveled rice into her mouth. What's more, the air conditioning blasting from her car's vents was superior to the hospital's. That had her minorly concerned for the facility's poor infrastructure and engineering but bolstered the idea of _eating in her car_ as a good solution to the craziness. 

Because she wasn't a quitter. 

Then the loneliness came and never left. The apartment was scarce of any human interaction; her friends and family that would often visit were too far to even considering doing so. Yongsun had always thought of herself as fully independent but this had been far from the truth. Her life had flourished solely on the basis of social dependency. Somewhere in her mind she had predicted that she'd have a few close companions by now, maybe even a boyfriend. Instead she experienced the déjà vu of isolation every afternoon at her workplace and every moment of her days off. There was no escaping it; when she was at the hospital she would rather be home in bed, but when she was at home in bed she'd rather be at the hospital facing the terrors of Dr. Moon. 

Slowly she was becoming a quitter but she knew better than to throw all her efforts away. There was still a chance to salvage the situation. If not through Byulyi then perhaps through one of the women who had always calmed the palpitations back down to a steady rhythm in her chest. Just at the end of her shift, she took the short trip from the locker room to the supervisors' office across the hall. Again and again, Yongsun practiced the script in her head: request a transfer to a different surgeon; things weren't working out; their personalities clashed. Her lips mouthed the words silently in the air, and she stopped right outside the door to reconsider her decision. _Should_ she just tell the truth of what had happened between them?

_"Shit."_ _From brown eyes to brown eyes, both shared a realization that things had took a turn for the worse. This was far from Yongsun's intentions when she first barged into the on-call room. She swore she was there to only ruffle the surgeon's feathers, yell a few explicitives that the other surely deserved, and give her the finger before storming away and slamming the door close. What would be left behind was a stupified and shaking Moon Byulyi totally at a loss for words. Yes, that's exactly how the blonde had pictured it yet here she was crushed under the weight of her nemesis after she was pleasantly fucked by talented fingers that were still presently inside her._

_"Get off of me!"_ _Her breath was still ragged from her all-too-recent orgasm but there was just enough anger to get her point across accurately. The brunette didn't hesitate to do as she said._

_Byulyi stumbled backwards while she awkwardly pulled up her pants. The hand she had just used on Yongsun was splayed out in front of her own face as she scrutinized the remnants of the blonde smeared over her fingers. Her lips parted in silent appreciation of how wet Yongsun had become just for her. Byulyi would've felt proud if it weren't for the disgusted surgical nurse watching her every move. "What?" Quickly she wiped the moisture from her skin on the back of her scrub pants; she'd be changing soon regardless._

_"Nothing." Yongsun had pretended to not be so interested in the surgeon's movements and busied herself with rebuttoning her jeans. "Just...nothing." She couldn't believe she was even attempting to express herself to this woman after being treated so poorly. The rage filled her once again. She wanted to rehash it all. She wanted a second chance to say what she needed to say, but she was too embarrassed now to go forth with it. After all, she did just have sex with someone she supposedly despised. It would be laughable if she came out and said she disliked the other when just minutes ago she was moaning for her. Those thoughts left her reaching for the door handle._

_The brunette began to panic when she saw Yongsun taking her leave. "Wait_ — _wait!" The blonde halted but never turned back around. "What do we do now? Where does this leave us?" Byulyi couldn't decide between begging the other or forcing the other. "You...can't tell anyone. You won't, right?"_

_Yongsun didn't dare to respond to such idiocracy._

_More questions than answers had developed. It seemed fucking away their issues had fallen quite short of being the final solution. They had promised each other it was over through the power of telepathy. The happenings between them were detrimental to both their ideals, and their consciences could not withstand the sexual tug of war. However, Byulyi and Yongsun knew it all meant much more than sex. There was aggression; there was animosity and intensity. But somewhere hidden beneath it all was a confused desperation to communicate through the misunderstandings. During their short intimate interaction in the on-call room, the pieces had fit. They were on the same physical and emotional wavelength as they fucked the living daylights out of each other, but, soon after, they watched it all fall away and revert back to a shared hatred._

"Yongsun-ssi?" The reality of present time came crashing in when she heard the soft voice of her supervisor. She had looked about ready to leave for the night but obviously surprised to find her staked outside her office. "Did you need something from me?" 

She decided right then that it would be better to leave the truth to the gods. It would be too much at once for both herself and Wheein. She would start off gently. "I..." Yongsun's earnest to get everything straightened out was hindered by an unexpected rush of heat to her cheeks. Wheein's eyes widened, and she guided her into her private quarters away from prying passers-by. 

The tears had come from a source she had attempted to keep hidden for so long. Her confidence to handle this alone had dwindled and slowly her life was falling apart. Of course, she discovered this fact in the presence of her superior who was forcing her to sit down and stroking her blonde hair. Wheein had kneeled down at her side. "Hey...hey," she cooed. "Just let it out." 

And damn it, Yongsun did so without shame. The salty tears fell from her cheeks to her chin to her shirt until her emotional well had dried up, but that took way longer than expected. When she foolishly thought she had finally composed herself to talk, she fell right back into another fit of sobs. 

Wheein's heart clenched, but she remained strong for the sake of her companion. "It's okay. I'm right here."

"I can't do it anymore. I just can't!" The outburst was filled with sadness but more so with frustration. "Please, let me work with someone else. Please." 

"Yongsun-ssi..." The nursing supervisor squeezed her shoulder as she made her suspicions known. "Is this about Dr. Moon?" All along she knew there was something going on between the two. Ever since Byulyi and Yongsun had come together in the operating room, a sudden switch had been turned on...or off. The Dr. Moon she once knew had become an atrosity. That was something that not even she could have predicted and Wheein was an expert in extrospection. 

The blonde nodded through her hiccups. "Yes. Things aren't working out." 

Wheein sighed. "She's a bit feistier than I expected, I'll admit that, but you two make a great team. I really think you should stick with—"

"No!" Yongsun had finally been able to look her supervisor straight in the face. "We do not get along. At...at all!" 

The way her colleague had begged her with her pleading eyes made Wheein backtrack on the whole thing. "Yongsun." The honorifics were dropped as the situation seemed more dire than the other would ever let on. "What is going on?" She grabbed her hand and kneaded the back with her thumb. "You need to tell me so I can help you." 

_No, no, no_. Yongsun kept shaking her head the more that Wheein pressed the issue. "I just want to work with someone else. That's it! I won't ask for anything else. I promise." 

Everything within her was screaming at her to ask again. _What happened to make you this miserable? Did she do something to you? But the outcomes of your surgical patients are above par so how can this be?_ "Okay." Wheein had decided that enough was enough. She knew she would never fully understand their dynamic unless Yongsun was willing to come forth voluntarily. "I'll do what I can, Yongsun-ssi, and this might give you the space to readjust and reconsider."

The blonde doubted that much could happen but thanked the younger woman regardless for her efforts to assist her. "I am beyond grateful. I promise this is my only request." 

Now left to her own devices, Wheein sat at her desk as she studied the chair where Yongsun had occupied herself just moments prior. Her light tapping on the wooden surface soon turned to a violent pounding with her fist when she recalled that time in the operating room in which Dr. Moon was a raging animal. Maybe she was like that both in and out of the operating. Maybe Yongsun experienced her wrath more than she could ever hope to keep track of. _No._ She picked up the phone and dialed the operator. "Page Dr. Moon to this number. Thank you." 

This ended now.


	9. [M] Never There

The urgency in which the nursing supervisor requested Byulyi's presence via a short-lived phone call boggled the surgeon's mind. Could she have possibly forgotten something intra-operatively? Maybe she had left paperwork unfinished. It has happened before. The list of concerns began to build as she scrambled to find the office that she had never realized was there in the first place. She had no need to ever enter that room; her elective cases were overtly successful and she hardly could recall any complaints from patients or their family members. There was little reason for a physician to spend time in a nursing office so this impromptu meeting had her on edge as she wandered closer to her destination. 

Nothing logically made sense until she saw _her_. The little blonde woman herself was heading her way from the direction where Wheein's supposed office resided. Yongsun obviously made a positive identification of the surgeon before she scurried on past her, eyes glued to floor, like the cockroach Byulyi assumed she was. To think she held this traitor in her arms just over a month ago. The hellish feelings in her stomach froze over in the instant she was left alone to view the plaque upon the door that read 'OR Nursing Supervision'. She felt that was a deceiving title. This was surely the portal to fire and brimstone and it seemed the battle for her livelihood had begun before there was ever a warning shot. 

"Come in." Wheein addressed the knocks on the door with forced disinterest. "Have a seat."

Byulyi crept quietly towards the leather chair and plopped herself down rather uncomfortably. A minute passed then five then ten and the stupid analogue clock on the wall behind Wheein ticked closer to the surgeon's impending doom. The physician did not know how much longer the nurse would continue to shuffle around the papers on the desk. She wrung her hands together in her lap and figured she'd start off the conversation then. "Did you need to discuss something with me, Wheein-ssi?"

A slender finger poked up which caused Byul to pause. "Hold on," Wheein mumbled and turned to her computer screen. The repetitive way in which she typed on her keyboard made Byulyi wonder if this was all an act to purposefully delay the conversation. She couldn't have been closer to the truth. Wheein was letting the other simmer in her own stew of guilt and clearly it was working by the look of the brunette's sullen face. 

"Okay..." She puffed out her cheeks and swung her legs back and forth to pass the time. A few things hung around the office caught her eye; certifications that designated Wheein's professional status were the first grabbers of her attention but then slowly Byulyi became more interested in the childlike artwork displayed proudly on the adjacent wall. There were cards created from colorful construction paper with scribblings and drawings in different shades of crayon. Most, if not all, expressed their gracious thank yous even when poorly spelled. _Really sweet._ It brought her a momentary calmness as she nearly forgot she was in hot water until Wheein piped up. 

"Alright, Dr. Moon." The surgeon in question stiffened and swallowed at the ferocity of her voice and stare. "Why do you think you're here?" 

Shit, Byulyi thought, of course she would start it off like this. "Uh...well...it could be anything but there's really nothing I can think of." The last thing she wanted to do was out herself. Damn Wheein's methods of interrogation. 

"Really? _**Really.**_ " Though younger, the nursing supervisor leaned over the desk to establish her command of the situation at hand. "I'm sure there's something you can come up with that would explain the reason as to why I called you at—," Wheein glanced at the clock behind her, "almost nine o'clock at night." Byulyi's mouth fell open slightly to try and respond but she couldn't with the other continuing her rant. "Furthermore! Reason as to why _I'm_ stuck here until almost _nine o'clock at night_. So think _real_ hard, Dr. Moon. What could you have possibly done in your miserable life to have us sitting across from each other like this?" 

The physician was caught between coming right out and saying it and holding her ground. Playing dumb might be the best choice. "I don't know what you're talking about. You're going to have to elaborate." 

There must've been a ghost haunting the hospital that night since right then Wheein was overcome by what seemed to be a demonic possession. " _Elaborate?!?!_ " She slammed her palms down on her desk and stood. "Elaborate on why the hell an employee had come to me in tears in regards to your misconduct? Is that what you want me to elaborate on, _Dr. Moon_?" She had metaphorical smoke coming from her ears. "Actually, yes! Let's do that. Let's elaborate on the misery you caused and, apparently, still cause to this very day!" 

"...I don't think that's necessary..." Her eyes were the size of saucers but she could only sit idly by as she got torn to shreds. 

"No, no, no. It's no trouble at all. I insist! I just thought it had been a one time occurrence that day you had your little freak out but I was wrong, wasn't I? How silly of me." Wheein fell back down in her chair and laughed incredulously. "Tell me, Dr. Moon, for how long have you been treating her this way?" 

Byulyi scraped her nails along the black leather of her chair's armrests. It was the moment of truth but she still showed signs of resistance. "Who?" 

"Oh, come on. You know who. Stop playing this game with me." 

"I just want to make sure we are talking about the same person."

"Why is there _another_ I should be worried about? Jiyeon-ssi perhaps?" She raised her eyebrow in question. 

The surgeon denied the accusation with fervor. "No, not Jiyeon!" 

_Bingo_. She exposed herself and Wheein had her right where she wanted her. "So if not her then?" The nurse was determined to get Byulyi to admit it herself. 

The room was spinning. To say that name brought her to her wit's end and when she made the decision there was no turning back. "Kim Yongsun." There. She said it, with animosity no less, but she said it. "Okay? Are you happy with that?"

"Oh, yes. I'm _so_ happy that you're making an employee of mine want to quit. No! I am not happy!" She held her head in her hands and pulled at her light brown hair.

"Quit...?" The soft word left the surgeon without expecting Wheein ever to hear it, but she did despite her efforts to remain quiet. 

"That's what I tried preventing her from doing, Dr. Moon. All because of you!" She let out a bizarre and disgruntled sound in the form of a low grunt.

Byulyi rubbed her palm across her face. "What...what did she say? What did she tell you?" Slowly she looked up to face her maker. 

"Enough for me to figure out that you're an asshole." To hell with politeness and political correctness. _This_ was the way Dr. Moon had to be dealt with. "I have no idea what's gotten into you." 

"I didn't know this was going to happen this way!" The elder of the two shook her head in disbelief. "I thought it'd be one time. I never thought—"

"You'd be such a jerk?" Wheein cut her off which was probably for the best. "Listen. I'm not a surgeon. You guys work day and night without rest. It's not a surprise that you're all cranky psychopaths but still that's no excuse for your behavior. You have no one else to blame but yourself for choosing a shitty profession." 

Byulyi honed in on the other's words, her brow furrowed in deep contemplation. "So she called me a jerk?" She hoped to God that was the extent of it.If so, she may be in the clear.

"Well, no. That was me ad-libbing in the context of her hysterically crying." 

The surgeon's heart sank at the reminder. No wonder Yongsun kept her head down so low today. Swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks were difficult to hide. "It...was that bad?" 

"Understatement of the century right there." Wheein sighed. "I really thought more was going on than your ungodly temper but...I guess not." 

"And that's all she said?" Self-preservation trumped all other concerns. Once she got confirmation she'd worry about Yongsun's state of mind. 

"Basically you two don't work well together. Personality-wise. Her words, not mine." She shrugged before continuing, "I thought you made a great team. Really. It's a shame that I'll have to find someone else she can scrub in with. It's going to take a lot of rearranging but she'll stay in the OR as long—"

"What?!" Now it was Byulyi's turn to stand up in a fret. "She wants to work with another surgeon?"

Wheein scoffed. "Do you blame her? The woman's a mess over you!" 

The statement hit the young surgeon so hard she fell back down into her seat. Despite Wheein knowing only half the story she had the truth locked down better than Byulyi herself. "Oh...no..."

"Yeah. So you better watch yourself and that temper of yours." The nurse had begun to take her leave after stacking the papers on her desk into neat pile. "Just a warning in reference to your future colleagues." 

"How soon will she...?"

"I told her by her next shift she'd be elsewhere." 

That left the surgeon no room at work to reconcile this. She'd never be able to predict when they'd crossed paths again. "Could you page her? I'd like to speak with her." Byul hadn't moved from her spot even as the other headed for the door. 

Wheein rolled her eyes. "You really think she's still here at this time? Like I said, we nurses aren't nut jobs like you surgeons." 

"How about a number I can reach her at? The on-call list should have her information."

"And I'd give out an employee's private information to help you solve your petty problems because..?" She shook her head. "Sorry. You'll have to find another way." 

"But..." There was enough energy left in Byul to argue her case yet she followed Wheein into the hallway. "I really need to apologize to her." 

With the office locked up for the night, Wheein started the trek down the hallway and towards the exit. "Again. Not my problem. Sleep well, Dr. Moon."

_Fuck sleep_. Byulyi ran to use the phone in the OR break room once the nurse was out of sight. "Hello, is this security? Oh, hi, sorry. I was just making sure. This is Dr. Moon. I left something in a room but locked myself out. I was hoping you had a key to get in. Yes. I'm currently at the OR Nursing Supervision office. Mhm. Thank you very much. I'll be waiting right outside."

x-x-x

It had been a couple weeks since Yongsun was last able to settle into the comforts of her new home. Finally her seemingly wasted efforts on her novel lifestyle were coming to fruition, and she could move on from the steady mistakes she's made in order to become the person she was destined to be. She had hoped the process could have been less exciting and demoralizing but who was she to question fate. She promised herself she'd learn from it as she piled her many pillows up against her bed's headboard to support herself. She figured she read a few chapters of a book before giving into a much deserved sleep. 

Snuggling up into fresh cotton sheets with a romance novel and hot cup of tea while wearing her favorite bedtime tank top and shorts. She could think of nothing better. Her conversation with Wheein right before she had left work today was probably what gave her the peace of mind she so desired. There was the hope of change and a better tomorrow that lulled her stress into nothing more than a meer whisper within her soul. Everything else, like her happiness and satisfaction, had suddenly become more important than the issues that involved herself and Dr. Moon. She need not worry. She truly believed that thanks to Wheein.

The proof really lied in her recent text conversation with Hyejin. Before this resolution, Yongsun had found it increasingly difficult to keep her story straight with her best friend. No, she had never relayed to her that she had another sexual rendezvous with the surgeon...on a wooden desk...in a room... that was the size of a glorified closet. She felt that would be a betrayal to the advice that Hyejin had given her that day to stand up for herself. As a result their interactions had suffered. It was blatantly obvious to Yongsun. No longer could she be so fluid with her responses; she had to think through every line of text before sending it. She kept things brief and vague but blamed it on work being busy and her being exhausted. The blonde had wondered if Hyejin actually believed her excuses but tonight she had no reason to worry. 

Their texts were lighthearted. Yongsun could actually be truthful in saying that she was looking forward to the next few days of work. She had been smiling at the foreword of her novel for approximately fifteen minutes, with no actual attempt to retain the information, as she reminisced on the playful back and forth between herself and Hyejin. Something about that woman was so perfect. She giggled as she threw the book down to the side of her and picked up her phone that had been docked on her charging station. Another silly text with an image dinged her phone to life.

"Hyejinie!" Yongsun kicked her feet under her covers as she squealed her friend's name to herself. Her attempts to save the photo to her gallery were interrupted with an incoming call. She answered right away with an assumption in mind. "I was just looking at that dumb photo of you, Hyejin-ah!" 

"Yongsun-ssi?"

Hyejin's voice was deeper than most women's but this low pitch sound did _not_ belong to her friend of many years. "...Hello?" It was familiar but too unexpected to recognize. "This is Yongsun speaking." A heavy yet distorted breath filled her ears across the line. Whoever it was must've been shoving their phone into their mouth. "Excuse me? Hello?" The number on the screen was one she had never seen before and this was getting more annoying by the second. 

"U-uh...uh...this is—"

Agitated, Yongsun spoke over the mysterious individual. "Who is this?" She heard a clearing of the throat coming from the stranger but it didn't do much to improve the hoarseness. 

"It's Byulyi." 

Again she pulled the phone away from her ear to recheck the caller's number. It could be a prank. Hyejin loved her tricks. But the digits on the screen hadn't changed and she found her bearings to speak. "Okay." The disbelief didn't let her say much more. 

"Moon Byulyi. From the hospital." 

Yongsun's disbelief, however, didn't last long and the contempt that coated her words made it obvious that she was more than displeased with hearing her voice. "Yeah, I know. How did you get this number?" 

"Some...some list at work. I'm sorry. I-I'm sorry. I needed to talk to you." The slur was slight but still evident to a peeved Yongsun.

_Clinking_. The blonde listened to a clinking through the receiver then maybe a sip or...slurp? "Are you," she nearly gasped, "are you drinking?!" She pushed herself upright off the pillows supporting her back. "You're fucking calling me at this hour while you're leisurely having a nightcap?!" _Nope._ They had crossed lines before but this was going _way, way_ too far. This stalker-type behavior wouldn't slide with her. 

"Please just let me explain, Yongsun-ssi! Please!" The begging came from out of nowhere. "Please..." 

"You do not get to tell me when or where you explain your disgusting behavior!" She should just hang up. She had the power to stop this right now. Yet she didn't and went on and on. "You also do not get to use my number without my permission! If I wanted you to have it, I would've given it to you. Don't you think?!" 

"I'm sorr—"

"No. Shut up. Shut up with your useless apologies. You _threatened_ me." The tears wanted to fall at the recollection of the scene in her car but her anger held it back tenfold. "You can't just force your way back into...into whatever the fuck this is!" The hyperventilating breaths heaved in and out of her chest. Her brain was screaming at her to end the call but her heart wouldn't let her. It still felt so unfinished. 

The stillness between them carried on for an eternity and by the time Yongsun's breathing was under control, Byulyi broke the silence to build a bridge even in her drunkeness. "I spoke to Wheein-ssi. Well...she spoke to me. We s-spoke to each other. About..." The younger woman huffed. "About us."

Yongsun squeezed her hand tighter around her phone. "Let me correct that statement for you. Wheein called you then forced you into a conversation that lead to her obliterating your ridiculousness and embarrassing you for the way you acted towards me. Now you feel bad for yourself. Boo fucking hoo." 

"Yongsun, no! That's not—no..." Byulyi again pleaded into the phone with the gentlest tone to date, "I'm seriously out of my mind...I didn't know what to do. I still have no idea what to do. I never intended it to go this far. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Oh, fuck you!" She yelled into her end then smashed the red 'end call' button. 

It was as if Byulyi had been struck across the face when the phone line went dead. She had expected things would turn out this way but it was still just as devastating. Tilting her head, she knocked back the rest of the whiskey and rolled the empty glass off her bed and onto the floor. "You're a fucking moron, Byulyi," she spoke to herself and turned over to hide her face in her pillow. "Please...God..."

_"Honey, everything will be okay." Her mother's tone always soothed her rough edges but tonight it wouldn't be enough to keep her from drinking her woes away soon after. "You've gotten through all the struggles this world has given you. You can accomplish anything."_

_Not all. "It's getting harder each day, umma." On the verge of crying, Byulyi sniffled quietly._

_"Nonsense, child. You've always known what you've wanted and you've always gotten what you've wanted. That's how you've **always** been."_

She lifted her head to grab the half-empty whiskey bottle from her night table and take a long swig. The phone call with her mother just before she decided to contact Yongsun gave her the push to do it but hadn't prepared her for the fall. "I tried though. I tried..." She affirmed her efforts with another sip of bitter liquor. "Fuck. It's so bad it's good." The buzz was quickly going from tipsiness to drunkenness. So much so that for a moment she thought the her phone's ringtone was an auditory hallucination. 

The number flashed across her screen and she clambered up her bed to answer. It was a number she had dialed not too long ago. "Y-Yongsun?" 

"It's not fair what you did." She had remained bothered but was no longer spitting fire from the mouth. "I hope you know that." 

"I know. I'm going to say it...this...one more time. Please, let me."

She sighed. "Go ahead then."

"I am so, so, so, _so_ sorry." 

"And what if I don't accept your apology? You'll strangle me again?" The bitterness flowed freely.

The dig hit Byulyi square in the chest. She clearly remembered, even in the haziness of alcohol, whacking the blonde's head against the on-call room desk with her hand around her throat. "No...I wouldn't! I was..." 

"You wouldn't want to do it again?" Yongsun could not believe what the hell was coming out of her mouth.

Neither could Byulyi. "What?"

Her hand was dangerously close to sliding into her fabric shorts. "Don't make me ask again," she warned. 

The brunette gulped, fingers twisting into her hair and staying there to pull at different strands. "I could...if you...yes?" She was still sure this was a misunderstanding as a result of her drunkeness.

"Then what?" Her voice had dropped down to a whisper partly due to being turned on and partly due to the shame from being turned on. 

She repeated Yongsun's inquiry, "Then what?"

"What are you going to do to me?"

A prolonged silence followed. Then there was rustling from Yongsun's end. She had pushed her sheets down her bed with her feet, legs falling open, and fingers diving below her shorts' waistband to get between her thighs. 

"Uh." 

"What do _you_ _want_ to do to me, Byulyi?" 

Her heart lept in her chest. To hear her name from those lips made her an honest woman. "Touch you." 

"Where?" Her fingertips were already teasing the spot she had in mind. 

Byulyi bit her lower lip and held the phone closer to her mouth. She was emboldened. "Anywhere I can get my hands on." 

"Where would you start first?" 

"Where do you want me to start?" Yongsun was floored by such a nonchalant question. Never before had a man asked her that. She then recalled a fleeting dialogue between herself and Hyejin. 

_'Guys with their gruff hands. They think you owe them everything. Women are tender...women make you feel—'_

Wanted. Women always made sure of it. That was the point Hyejin was trying to get across but Yongsun didn't give her the time of day to finish the thought. In her defense, Hyejin was annoyingly drunk that night. But now she understood. A woman, more specifically, this woman made Yongsun feel wanted in ways she never dreamed possible. And it was a fucked up way to be wanted but she was wanted nonetheless. 

The actions performed on her clit stopped so she could ponder. "My...my neck." Her fingers came out of her shorts to wrap around her own throat then they traced back down to her chest. "Down to my..."

"Breasts...?" Byulyi poked a spot on her comforter. She had never done this before but, damn, she'd do anything to please the woman on the other side. "I'd love to do more than just touch them, Yongsun." The thought of her mouth on her body just... "Fuck. I want to taste every bit of you again. You're...you're delicious." She winced but in all honesty there was a lack of better words to describe the blonde beauty. 

"Mm..." Yongsun didn't think twice about her word choice. Her hand had gone straight back down into her shorts while Byulyi was speaking. "Your tongue felt so good. It _feels_ fucking good." Alternating between fingering her slick pussy and rubbing her clit, she busied herself with imagining her fingers to belong to the other. " _Oh...Byul..."_

The moan stamped a blush right on the surgeon's cheeks. She had no idea that Yongsun was _actually_ doing _something_ on the other end in reaction to her until now. "U-uh..." She stuttered then mouthed a silent 'wow' to herself. Closing her eyes, it was easy to picture the woman's body in a perfect arch as she... _fuck._ "I'll do whatever you want. I _—"_ Byulyi was crazed, her thoughts scattered. "I could fuck you any way you...let me fuck you..." The person who started this whole phone sex thing was an absolute idiot or a sadist or both. Nothing about this was as satisfying as the real deal. 

There was no answer to Byulyi's futile pleads. Not long ago Yongsun had lost her hold on her phone and fucked herself with more concentration. Though there was not much difference in size, her own two fingers just weren't enough for her. She became creative enough in pretending and allowed her palm to hit her clit as she fucked herself as thoroughly as she could. "Byulyi..." She couldn't scream it. The air had left her and she never found it in time to be louder. "Byul...don't stop...oh...please..." 

"Yong..." She wasn't even lying in her bed anymore. Caught up in the animalistic noises, the sexual tension was too thick for her and, right now, the idea of masturbating to Yongsun seemed impossible. Instead she chose to listen, drink, and roam her apartment. And what she was hearing melted her from top to bottom: _h_ _er_ name over and over again in the foreground and, in the background, some _very_ wet sounds. At some point, Byulyi leaned her forehead against her living room wall and listened to the last moments of her lover's bliss. If only she could _see_ it. 

The once distant voice came closer for Byul to hear. "...H-hello...?" It was a little shy and slightly worn out. 

The surgeon was also mentally recovering from Yongsun's finishing performance herself but managed her own timid response. "I'm still here..."

"Mm." More rustling was heard as Yongsun shimmied her shorts and sheets back up her body. "I should...clean up." 

Another strike of boldness came to the brunette. "If you gave me your address I could help with that." 

"In your dreams."

"I'm sure I'll have plenty tonight." Byulyi smiled cheekily. 

"Shut up." The high of her orgasm was wearing off allowing Yongsun to feel a tiny flare of irritation like a candle's fickle flame. "Oh, lose this number too while you're at it."

The call abruptly ended and Byulyi didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. 


	10. Feel So Numb

If anyone had asked Kim Yongsun as to why she had decided to call the young surgeon back that night, she would've blamed it on hormonal revenge. Simply, it was a ploy to trip Byulyi up, to torment her, and to make her yearn for the unattainable. Hypothetically, this is what she would tell someone although it may have been just a _small_ stretch of the truth. She'd purposefully leave out the whole fact that it was probably one of the most thrilling things she had done in her life. No one needed to know that, especially Byulyi. 

Yongsun planned to leave the brunette to suffer all by her lonesome and when they passed by one another at work she would hardly spare her a second glance even as the surgeon was _obviously_ eying her up and down. Sometimes, just through chance, Yongsun would accidentally hold her gaze for a split second to take in the sight of an inwardly shaking Byulyi. The sexual frustration, the want, the _need_. It would've made Yongsun laugh if she wasn't busy with having the exact same problem. But those feelings were easy to shake off when they went their separate ways for the day: Yongsun to scrub in with her new surgeon and Byulyi to perform her cases without the blonde's skill set to help her along. It worked as a distraction until, really, it didn't. 

The blonde found herself wandering the hallways during her break time instead of filling her gut with sustenance. Perhaps because that was not the hunger that needed to be satisfied. Byulyi seemed, as well, to be playing the same hand. In the beginning they'd see each other once _maybe_ twice per day then suddenly that number doubled by the following week. Yongsun blamed it completely on the other. _She_ was the one seeking _Yongsun_ out and not the other way around. This was a one sided chase that she had no interest in participating in. She convinced herself of that even as their hands brushed over each other in the corridor leading to the OR suites. Purely accidental and, if it wasn't, it was entirely Byulyi's doing. 

The surgeon, being obsessive _and_ possessive, took it upon herself to steal Yongsun's phone number after all. Only an insane person with a personality disorder would find it socially acceptable to do such a thing. Of course, it was Byulyi to blame for all of this; the physician could do no wrong in her own eyes. The woman was self-righteous and smug even though she _had_ wholeheartedly apologized that night. Even though she _did_ follow Yongsun's requests of never reaching out to her by using her number again. Even though Byulyi _still_ continued to say her sorrys through gentle looks and timid smiles. 

But there was no use in her attempts at reconciliation. The surgeon was just trying to lure Yongsun back into her evil clutches where she'd be trapped in a hold with those really _nice_ hands and _those_ fingers that did wonders to her—no. The tempting thoughts came to a screeching halt when Jiyeon sat across from her at the break room table. Her face reminded her of that awful scenario that occurred in the OR then led Yongsun's mind back to the driver seat of her car. The yelling. The threats. The terror. 

_No._ _Never again._

"Hey, unnie." Jiyeon, even if she could read minds, was as nonchalant as ever. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Oh!" Yongsun pretended she wasn't just mentally stabbing her surgeon nemesis with a rusty spoon. "How have you been?" 

The younger girl shrugged. "Same old." 

"Yeah. Me too." How she wished that was true but she played along and rattled off something honest to make up for it. "I miss working with you." 

"Really? Hm." Jiyeon gave her a lopsided smile, contemplating whether or not she should say what was on her mind. She did. "Sure you don't miss someone else?" 

Yongsun's eyes almost crossed as she drank from her water bottle. "Huh?" Her psychological pining wasn't _that_ obvious, was it? The other laughed outright at her reaction. 

"I'm just kidding! Did Wheein-ssi really think everything would improve after you left?" Jiyeon shook her head and opened the food container that held her lunch of...bell peppers. Yongsun scrutinized it which didn't go without the circulating nurse noticing. "Diet." 

"Oh..." The blonde would've told her that there was no need for her to watch her weight, but she was too distracted by Jiyeon's earlier question. "What do you mean?" 

She looked over her shoulder before answering in a whisper, "Dr. Moon is...well...she's still as crazy as ever. She's just...how do I put this?" Her teeth crunched through a bell pepper to give her a moment to organize her words. "Sad? Mm, maybe not sad. Whatever it is she's a bummer to work with! You're lucky you got out of there when you did." She rolled her eyes then mumbled. "At least she's not screaming at us like a maniac anymore..."

She'd feel bad but there wasn't enough room in heart for any empathy for the surgeon. Or so she thought. Fortunately, a distraction came later that night in the form of phone call from her best friend.

"Bitch, I'm coming to Seoul!" 

"Yah! I'm still older than you. Watch yourself." 

"Ugh, come on, unnie! I'm just excited. You know I don't mean anything by it." 

Yongsun couldn't deny that she was reeling with eagerness to see her friend. A little taste of Hyejin could probably be the cure to her ongoing issues. Maybe she'd even come clean and be rid of the guilt she had been harboring since the summer. It was already September and she wasn't sure she had enough stamina to continue going at this pace. Secrets, especially steamy ones, were not her thing after all. "So when exactly do I get to see you?"

"It's a three day conference and I told my chief that I'll be damned if I didn't stay the whole time. I'm using _my_ personal time to do this anyway." Hyejin failed to tell the chief resident that her best friend resided in Seoul so this trip would be twenty percent work and eight percent play but that was better left unsaid. "When I get there Friday I have to check-in to the hotel then go right to a panel. I'll probably see you—"

"Wait." Yongsun stopped her friend in her own disappointment. "You're going to stay at a hotel?" 

"It's not that far from the Starfield COEX Mall. Of course I'm..." Hyejin 's voice faded into nothing when she realized her mistake. "Oh, unnie...I didn't mean anything by it! I figured it would just be easier. It was all expenses paid. Plus, it'd be fun to hang out there. Don't you think?" 

It did sound fun _._ Still it didn't stop her squeezing out every last drop of Hyejin's guilt. "I guess so."

"I know so! If you come by Saturday evening we can just hang out all night. I'm telling you things can get crazy when a medical conference is surrounded by so much alcohol. You don't want to see a doctor get wild on the dance floor? Maybe you'll finally find your husband." Hyejin tried to bite back her next words but they were just _too_ good to keep inside. "Or wife. I mean we'll have to make arrangements for a destination wedding—" 

"Stop it." Yongsun had tried to sound playful but the way her voice strained itself betrayed her.

Her friend knew right away she had struck a sensitive cord. "Yongsun-unnie...you're still not over that? It was _one_ time. It really isn't that big of a deal." 

Her heart dropped down into her stomach and stayed there for the rest of the night. So much for a distraction. This was going to be harder than she thought, wasn't it? 

x-x-x

"Dr. Ahn, thank you so much for taking the time to present this critical update within the realms of gynecological trauma." The gracious man hosting this specific medical panel spoke directly to Hyejin before addressing the audience. "It is probably not a secret to us in the medical field that genitourinary issues, especially of the female kind, are hard to speak freely of for both the clinician and the patient." A few audience members nodded in agreement. "Regardless this is an integral part to improving ourselves as physicians. We cannot pretend like these issues do not exist." 

"Well said, Dr. Song." Hyejin bowed gently at the man then patted the sides of her pencil skirt. The relief of getting through the presentation had filled the young woman. She was now one step to closer to getting her drink on with her friend tomorrow. "I appreciate everyone's time and attention. If anyone has anymore questions, don't hesitate to approach me later on." This would be difficult for most, if not everyone, as the golden-haired girl's booming presence may have been too _much_ for her peers to handle. Good, she thought, she didn't want to talk to anyone anyway. 

She much rather have a cocktail in her hand and no worries on her mind which is exactly where she ended up when she took the shuttle back to her hotel and settled down at the bar near the lobby. She figured this would be a pre-game for tomorrow; if anything she needed to be prepared for whatever mess she and Yongsun would find themselves in. "I'll have," she pursed her lips at the bartender and then made her decision, "a paloma." 

"Good choice," the handsome bartender smiled and went on his way to prepare her drink. 

"You'd be a good choice too...," she mumbled as she turned herself around to take a gander at the crowd beginning to fill the room. Some of them were her close colleagues but most of them were strangers who shared a similarity of being enveloped in the life of medicine. It was a noble pursuit but sometimes a miserable one. Moments like these made her happy with her choice. The free-flowing conversation amongst these like minds brought her comfort as long as no one bothered her. 

"Excuse me, miss." 

_Fuck_. She spoke too soon. "...Yes?" With her legs crossed tightly over one another, she reluctantly gave her attention to the person brave enough to interrupt her party of one. "How can I help you?" She gauged the woman to be about her age. She looked shy and possibly annoying. 

"I had the opportunity to listen to your lecture. Very informative." The woman invited herself to sit on the bar stool just adjacent to the physician. "I enjoyed it." The bartender had returned with Hyejin's drink which gave the stranger the opportunity to order her own: a whiskey on the rocks. 

She took a sip of her cocktail and looked her over. Her outfit was well put together, yes, but it did little to accentuate the woman's small frame. She seemed overly modest. "Oh, I'm glad." 

"And I'm sorry. I think I recall your name from when you introduced yourself at the beginning of the presentation—was it Dr. Ahn?" 

"Yes. Ahn Hyejin. It's a pleasure." _Hardly_. This boring conversation couldn't get anymore boring so she cured it all with another sip. 

The brown-haired woman nodded, elbows on the bar top as she clasped her hands together. "So it is Hyejin?" 

Her eyebrows furrowed at that odd comment. "Yes...why?" 

"Oh," she chuckled before continuing, "nothing really." 

"Ah." Hyejin scanned this woman's features more carefully however nothing familiar came to mind. "And you are?" 

"I actually work not too far from here at Seoul National University Hospital." 

"Really?" She pretended that this sparked an interest but she was more absorbed in downing her first drink of the night. The other woman sensed this and gave her more information. 

"I'm a surgeon there." 

"That's good. In what area?" Hyejin was really running out of patience with carrying on with this interaction. 

Finally the woman's drink order came and she practically drank it in one go before she said, "Trauma." 

Now _this_ got Hyejin's attention. The tapping at her nearly empty cocktail glass became more rapid. "Trauma?" She repeated the word and the cold dew of the glass sent a single shiver down her spine. 

"Yes." The woman cleared her throat. "Would you happen to know a Kim Yongsun?" 

_Oh my God._ Hyejin stood up but not before finishing off her alcohol and calling for the bartender to get her new one right away. "Kim Yongsun? Yes, maybe. Why?" She still had her doubts. The woman declared herself to be a trauma surgeon that worked at her best friend's hospital but what were the chances that _she_ was the _one._ It couldn't be. 

"I...worked with her pretty closely." 

" _How_ close?" The malice came off more prematurely than Hyejin would've liked yet she couldn't help herself. This information was getting sprung upon her without her ever being fully prepared for it. 

"I don't think we could've been _closer_." Again Byulyi took a large gulp from her glass. "Has she told you anything about us?" 

_Smack._ The feminine palm that collided with the surgeon's cheek caught her off guard. She sat there frozen in her shock. The pain, though overwhelming, could not match the horror she felt in her soul. It was obvious that Yongsun had been candid in regards to their fucked up relationship. She knew she deserved a physical whipping like this one though the bartender ended up coming to her aid. 

"Are you okay?!"

"Uh..." Hell no but she laughed it off and waved him away. "Don't worry about it! It's our thing." She rubbed at the red mark developing on her cheek. "It's okay! It's a joke!"

Hyejin didn't even wait for the man to take his leave. "How fucking dare you." She was too vexed about seeing the cause of Yongsun's misery in the flesh to care about appearances. "It was _you_." 

"So she did tell you." At first Byulyi was unsure whether or not this was Yongsun's friend. The title of Dr. Ahn hadn't moved her to the conclusion but the name _Hyejin_ certainly had triggered her emotional memory. She had listened to her presentation with a small inkling that the alluring resident physician was the same woman she had seen in a photo displayed on the blonde's dresser. The same woman for whom she entertained, just briefly, a jealousy for her close relationship with Yongsun. This evidence was enough for Byul to trail her back to the hotel. 

"Yes, she told me! I happen to be her closest friend. So I know _everything_." A partially misled Hyejin poked at Byulyi's blazer's breast pocket with contempt. "Everything." 

"I didn't expect to see each other again." 

"But you think she did?!" Hyejin was standing dangerously close to the female surgeon, her voice only getting louder as their dialogue continued. 

"D-Dr. Ahn—," Byulyi desperately waved down the bartender, "her drink, please!" She leaned away now to create some distance between them. "What I said...and did...was terrible! Believe me. You have no idea how badly I feel about everything." This whole ordeal probably wasn't the smartest plan that the surgeon had come up with. She was certainly looking forward to a time when she _wouldn't_ be screamed at by everyone she met. 

"Then how about you fucking apologize to her?" 

"I have apologized! That entire day was _so_ wrong and I wasn't the kindest to her." Byulyi wagged her head when Hyejin was about to correct her. "I was the _worst._ I realized that after we...y'know...but I still decided to act like a big asshole. I tortured her. I was being very defens—" 

"After you?" Hyejin forced the other woman to rewind and finish her sentence. "After you threatened to fuck up her life?" 

Byulyi nodded. "Yeah and...had sex. That really didn't help to stop me from being a jerk. At all." 

The bartender slid a freshly made cocktail towards the golden-haired woman, and she muttered her thanks. She was not following this timeline whatsoever. "Wait...wait. You were a jerk to her that time after the club?" 

"No. I'm talking about the _other_ time. The one following the fight."

"The other— there were multiple?!" Her jaw had unhinged. _That bitch_. But she wasn't referring to the woman right next to her. 

Byulyi straight up panicked. "I thought you said you knew everything!" 

"I thought I did! What the fuck?!" She picked up her drink and chewed nervously at the black plastic straw, eyes flickering from the nowhere of space to the surgeon. "So you two are...?" 

"We aren't...well...we aren't anything or doing anything. I don't know! Sometimes we are. The last time I really spoke to her was on the phone." 

"When?" 

"A couple of weeks ago when I apologized to her then she—" She stopped giving away information for free and announced to whoever would listen, "I need another drink, please!" 

Hyejin grabbed her wrist and tugged her back. "Yah! Then she what?!" 

"I don't think I should be telling you any of this. It's not right." 

"Bullshit! She's _my_ best friend. I have a right to know this crap." 

"...did things to herself...while I listened..." If there was a hole, Byulyi would've crawled right into and died. "Argh! I'm so disgusting!" 

"The fuck?!" Hyejin had no idea what to do with these new details. "She's _that_ nasty?" She wanted to be proud of her best friend but she should also be fucking pissed that she was the last to be in the know. "Okay, this is great and all. I'm glad _someone's_ telling me something because I feel super betrayed that she of all people didn't say anything to me. But...why are _you_ telling me this?"

"She still won't talk to me." 

"And that's a problem because?" She swore this woman made it her prerogative to scare the living shit out of Yongsun to get her out of her hair. Her wish came true. What more could she have wanted?

"I want to—," Byulyi paused. She couldn't exactly pinpoint the feelings fluttering within her. There was hate in her heart but love on her mind. Nights and days were full of pain yet she had hope for an unlikely future. Maybe that would be enough to make her realize. "I want to try." 

Hyejin found the statement oddly cute causing herself to humor her. "And...?" 

"Could you help me?"

x-x-x

The next day couldn't have come fast enough for the resident physician. She was angry, certainly intrigued, and absolutely horrified that all this shit was happening right under her nose. Although there was most likely a good reason for Yongsun to shut herself off from her best friend, Hyejin felt more than ready to drop this bombshell straight on the other woman's head. It was justified despite how wrongly their conversation may steer as a result. 

Hyejin was never one to put on an act of exchanging unnecessary pleasantries. What you saw was what you got. Therefore it became increasingly difficult to plaster a fake smile on her face when she watched Yongsun approach her from the hotel lobby. Her bubbly exterior was equivalent to that of a contagion but tonight Hyejin would be immune to her sweetness. Shit was going to go down. 

"Hyejinie!" The blonde reached for the physician with arms wide open and she embraced her with deepest affection. "I missed you so much!" 

Her voice was just above a soft grumble. "...damn it..." Yongsun had gone straight for the kill and Hyejin failed to resist her charms, returning the hug. "I missed you too, unnie. Let's go find a place to sit. At the bar or?" 

"Anywhere is fine as long as it's with you." 

_What the fuck?_

She chose to ignore her friend's gushy behavior and led her to the center of the bar. There were plenty of seats available but she knew as the night went on there would probably be little room to move around. "What do you want to drink, unnie?" 

"Why? Are you buying?" Yongsun smiled and nudged her with a friendly elbow. "You're all grown up, huh?"

The same bartender from last night waited on the young women; he stared at the more familiar of the two with slight suspicion. "What can I get you?" 

"Something _really_ strong." They were going to need it for sure. "For both of us. Thank you." 

"You sure?" The poor guy had PTSD from yesterday's events and was convinced that adding high proof alcohol to the mix would increase the chances of watching a rerun.

"I have never been more sure in my entire life, sir."

Their night started with shots. Soju, tequila, whiskey, then some weird colorful shooter that Hyejin was pretty sure was just food coloring in water. She was especially sure when the bartender said 'this one's on the house'. The resident physician almost laughed in his face for giving them a few milliliters of fancy water.

Before they knew it the small group of people that occupied the room increased to a party-sized cluster fuck. The noise echoed off the hard panels of the walls and despite Hyejin and Yongsun being within centimeters of one another, they were starting to have a difficult time understanding what the other would say. They settled on shouting back and forth to get their points across and catch up on what was what and who was who in their lives. 

But not once did Yongsun bring up Moon Byulyi. The younger woman had given her the benefit of the doubt at the beginning of the night. Perhaps a few drinks to loosen her up would allow her to become more comfortable with coming clean. The opposite, however, was occurring. Yongsun was starting to make no sense as she rambled and now Hyejin was beginning to regret buying shots for the whole bar just to get her to spill the truth. She figured she had to dive right in in order to get to the bottom of this. First, she sent a warning text to her new acquaintance. 

😷 **🌚 9:03PM**  
this is not working........im going in  
sorry. its probably going to suck ass  
for you.

**9:03PM** 😷 **🌚**  
?????

Hyejin stared at her phone and scoffed. Some help this woman was. She contemplated a snarky reply but something stopped her. Her eyes narrowed then at the feeling of someone invading her personal space from right behind her.

"Who are you talking to?" Yongsun used Hyejin's slim shoulder to prop her chin and head up. "Is that your new boy toy?" 

She pressed the side button on her phone to blacken the screen. "Oh. Definitely not _mine_." The physician scrunched her nose up. "And drink some water! You smell like a bottle of vodka!" 

"Make me!" 

_Not this again_. She rolled her eyes but not before getting in another cheap shot. "I heard that's your thing."

"Huh?" Yongsun sat herself back down and sipped lightly at a cold glass of water as her friend had suggested. "What's that mean?" 

"You like it rough...and dirty. A little dangerous too." Her words were laced with spite but she hoped Yongsun's tipsiness had softened the blow somehow. Hyejin did not have to worry too much as it seemed obvious that she had missed her target. The blonde looked clueless. "I'm talking about getting fucked on a desk at work, unnie. Can you explain that one to me?" 

"W-what?"

"She told me."

"Who?!"

"This woman!" Hyejin turned her phone around to reveal the text conversation she had been having with Byulyi since they met yesterday. "She told me about you two." She slammed her phone down screen first. "Why didn't you tell me?!" 

"You...you're..." Yongsun scraped her manicured fingernails across the bar top then fired right back at her. "You're _texting_ her?!"

"And you're fucking her!"

"N-no!" 

"Oh, sorry! _She's_ fucking _you_. Does that sound more accurate?" The resident physician couldn't be more disappointed in her friend. It wasn't like her to do this. "You made her out to be a monster, unnie!"

She could feel the burning from behind her eyes. The stupid tears were coming. "She is!" 

"She is not! I had a lengthy conversation with her. She wants to make things up to you. Shouldn't you give her that chance?"

"Fuck, no!" She had yelled so loud that Hyejin almost fell off her barstool. This was not the Yongsun she knew. Not at all. "I will never fucking forgive her! Ever." 

"I-I think you should just call her..." _Hyejin don't do it. Don't do it._ "Again." _Oh, fuck. Damn it!_

"No." She pulled her wallet out and threw whatever money she had onto the bar. "No. I am not doing something as stupid as that." Yongsun bent over to leer at her supposed friend. " _Again_." 

"Unnie, don't!" 

"Who wants to go home with me tonight?! Any takers?!" It was an empty threat, really, but it felt satisfying to see a select few heads turn in interest...or maybe it was confusion. But it was all the same to a drunk Yongsun. She'd do almost anything to rid herself of this heaviness weighing down her heart. _Almost_ anything. "How about you, big fella?" The innocent man at a table nearby almost choked on his appetizer. 

Hyejin grabbed at her. "Yongsun-unnie! Stop it! Stop." A one night stand was way different than her friend prostituting herself in front of her medical colleagues. "We are done here. Take my hotel key and go!" 

"Go where...?" Yongsun held the key card in her hands. 

She was stuck. She wanted to escort her rowdy friend back to her room but she knew she had to repair the damages caused at the bar and apologize for Yongsun's bizarre behavior. Her saving grace came when she saw a fellow OBGYN resident. "Dr. Park! Jay! Help!" 

"What's up?" The man in his black tailored suit had just arrived at the bar with the intentions of having a relaxing beverage before bedtime. "Oh! Is this Yongsun-ssi?" Of course he would know about her; who else does Hyejin talk about all day? 

"Yes...yes..." Hyejin hurried along the conversation to get to a peaceful resolution. "My friend has had _a little_ too much to drink. Would you mind taking her to my room. 306. I'd be forever grateful." Dr. Park was an upstanding man who she had known for years. She trusted him with a lot. 

"Of course..." He gently took Yongsun by the arm but not before introducing himself as politely as he could. "Park Jaebum. I'm going to help you, okay? You need anything just ask."

Drunk, little Yongsun waved her goodbyes to everyone and no one and clung to the man guiding her out of the bar and towards the lobby elevators. "Has she ever betrayed you, Dr. Park?" Her resentment remained though she was in the company of a kind stranger. She couldn't help herself. This night had bothered her beyond belief. 

"No. Never." Jaebum didn't try to make sense of her riddles. His only goal was to get this woman safely to his colleague's room. A friend of Hyejin's was most definitely a friend of his for whom he'd care for. "I wouldn't worry about those things right now. You just need some sleep." 

Yongsun was lost in a trance. An apparition had appeared before her. Her body became dead weight and Jaebum stilled to give her some time to get her strength back. He figured her legs were failing her due to her intoxication. He heard her whisper, "Come here." 

The doctor was concerned. "What?" She was addressing him but her eyes were entirely elsewhere. "I want to tell you something." Yongsun made sure that the brunette sitting in the lobby was mindful of their presence.

"Yongsun-ssi...we should really get you—" He wanted to stumble far away but he was supporting most of her weight. "No, no! Yongsun-ssi." Her arms were around his neck, and he could feel her lips precariously dancing over his skin at the side of his jaw. If she wanted to cause a scene she damn well succeeded. "Okay, let's go! No more!" The male physician hurried her along to the elevators, making sure to find one that was filled with people for both their sake. 

As the metal doors closed, Yongsun got one last satisfying glimpse of the trauma surgeon, Moon Byulyi. She sat there in the lobby quietly but beneath her unbothered surface Yongsun knew there was something boiling and threatening to spill over. _Good_. The blonde flashed a toothy grin at Byulyi and tilted her head in the direction of Dr. Park to suggest her sinister plan. _Get fucked, Dr. Moon_. 

Byulyi did not once move. Too proud to stop her and too proud to call out for her. They say pride is the deadliest of sins, and she couldn't shake off the look in Yongsun's eyes as she watched the doors shut. Secretly she prayed that this was a case of mistaken identity. Yongsun was angry with her but she wouldn't do this. She couldn't. After all Byulyi had been awaiting a text from Hyejin to intercept Yongsun at the bar to make things right once and for all. That text never came and now she didn't need one to know that things did not go well. She had witnessed enough. The sun had blackened, and she was vehemently crushed under Yongsun's success at revenge. Finally she stood and took her leave, head held high yet hope set low. What has this woman done to her? She had felt so good about her prospects but now she felt so numb. 


End file.
